Time flies by

Had a glimpse of the movie, Butterfly Effect, while passing a VCD shop today. Its about this guy who has lapses in memory while he was a kid and realised that he is able to go back in time to these lapses and change history. Those lapses in his life are considered the key junctions in the timeline of his life. I 've thought about this plenty of times before. In everyone's life, there are many decisions, actions in our lives that make who we are now. If we have done things differently, our lives would be very much different from where we are not. We might even be very different people right now. So I was thinking, what are some of the key points in my life?

2001 Oct onwards

I've signed on to the Army, thus marking the point where I don't have to join the rat race in society. After signing on, so much has happened. I've got to know so much more people in my years in the Army. I've guided and left my mark on many young men's life. In a sense, you could have said that I've plenty of godsons. They've brought me much joy and pain. also got to know a couple of great friends. Take Adrian for example, had I not signed on. I probably would not have known him. And if not for him, I wouldn't have gotten to know my significant other. Also, I'd probably be studying in a local University right now.


2000

I broke up with a girl I'd loved dearly. Erm...dumped would have been a better word. Because of my obession with her, the break off greatly affected me. I couldn't bring myself to concentrate on my studies, couldn't go back to TKD...(got my balls kicked the first day I went back.... I'm serious, was in hospital too) I also took up smoking, a habit I've stayed away from. Its ironic how I resorted to doing something that I hated for such a long time. But then, I hated myself back then so it wasn't a big deal that two of my most hatred are together. Bad things seems to keep coming together. I had lost a good friend to a tragic accident later. A maternal uncle followed shortly afterwards, he was beaten to death. Apparently had something to do with drugs... Maternal grandma died from stroke and Granddad left soon after. I was simply devastated that year. It almost seemed like the world was ending... I never got the chance to tell them that I loved and cherish them. Told myself not to hold back my feelings and cherish everyone as if i'd never have the chance again. If all these hadn't happened, I'd probably have gotten better results for my 'A' levels and signing on won't even be in my mind.

Year 1998

This is the year when I was playing around and breaking hearts. I had more girlfriends than I could have handled. As a result, I failed my promotion exams that year. Should have known better than to bite more than I could chew. I simply went mad with the excitement of having to juggle simultaneous relationships. I'd also broke the heart of a girl who loved me deeply. She was my first girlfriend and yet I was able to cause her pain again and again. I would kick my own ass if I could go back in time....

Year 1996

Was getting ready to prepare for my 'O' levels.... Paternal granny left us. She had always been there and I never knew how much she meant to me. Kept crying myself to sleep for the first few weeks. Never really recovered so I took up Tae Kwon Do and devoted myself to the study of self defence....somemore exerting my body numbed my mind since I knew I didn't do well for my exams. Should have pushed those negative energy to something more constructive like burying myself in books....

Year 1993

Got myself enrolled into Hua Yi Secondary when I had the chance to get in Clementi Secondary. May not seem like much difference but it was not as rough as Hua Yi. I probably would have been a better student since Hua Yi was really a gangsters' paradise....


(Will continue when there's time....)

Final Destination 3

Haven't watched the movie but I'm an avid fan to the previous 2 installations. The idea of Death playing cat and mouse with humans was novel and kinda endearing in a sense. Why is it endearing? Well, the main reason is because Death himself is a serious old guy who never thinks much about games. He's really boring if Life don't tease him now and then. I wouldn't say that its fun to hang around Life also... You know how people keeps complaining that Life's a bitch? Well, she says thank you everytime someone utters that comment.

Actually, if there were really games being involved. Its probably Life playing tricks. If you ask me, it wasn't death playing cat and mouse with the victims in the movie. It was Life yanking them away after a brief touch from Death. Sounds like a brat? Its not like Death spanks her....

We all live in a gigantic trash can...

Ever wondered why babies cry after they are born? I dunno about the others but I know that I cried because I didn't want to come into this world. Hell, I would have held my breath until I turned blue....if only the darn doctor didn't smack my butt...

Why didn't I want to be in this world? Take a good look around you. Read the news! The planet that we are on is such a bleak place because of us humans. People are pissed with each other. Cartoons that are insulting, police who do funny things, politicians playing games with each other, girls getting molested in public places, 'friends' distributing your private video....

There comes a time when you have to wonder if its safe to trust anyone to do the right thing anymore. Hell, I don't even trust myself. I have done my share of stupid and inconsiderate things before. I'm not a saint and the 'sins' I've done is enough to last me a couple of lifetimes. No, I'm not proud of them but at least I know what I've done isn't right and I'm not willing to repeat my mistakes again. But I digress; ever since childhood, Ive known that the world is one ugly place. I knew that what I've seen was only the sugar topping disguising the decaying mass underneath.

We have to admit the fact that we are on this world together and learn to live with each other. We have to accept each other's difference or choose to perish by killing each other. You know how those air heads keep saying world peace in beauty pageants? Well, it would be nice if REAL world peace really exist. Where people genuinely care for each other, and everyone gets along with harmony. Its the only way we can really progress as a species. Either that or we can just sit along each other whacking one another on the head while waiting for that big comet to come colliding into our precious home.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LEARN TO GROW UP!

War Strategy

I heard this quote before " Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer". However at this particular phase of my life, I can't help but feel alone in a field full of foes. Allies aren't close at hand so there is no one to watch my back. Every step I take has to be carefully measured. Every plan I make needs to have its contingency.

Stuck on an island in the midst of dangerous waters, one cannot help but feel hopeless at times. Yet, I know that if I were to give up, the only fate that is waiting for me will be death. There is no time to learn how to survive. Primal instincts have to take over logical thinking more often than not. To survive is my only priority now.

Those who are dear to me can't help me in this battle. The only thing that is making go on is the knowledge that on the day of my triumph, I shall bask in the glory that is their presence. Just let me know that you'll give me your emotional and spiritual support. This is a stage I must go true alone, this battle is mine and mine alone.

What doesn't kills me, maketh me stronger.

放一颗心

別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你儘管放心接受　這樣溫柔和我
我不怕任何結果　珍惜這一刻
就算是有一天　　你突然想走

你並不需要擔心太多　怕你不夠了解我
只要記住　無愛不癡　無愛不狂　就夠
愛從來不怕付出太多　也從不保留
為了你我什麼都做　看著你是種享受　擁有你更是感動

放一顆心留在你的身邊　每次離去陪你入眠
你千萬記住有我在耳邊　說愛你
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你要乖乖的　等著我回來

愛從來不怕付出太多　也從不保留
為了你我什麼都做　看著你是種享受　擁有你更是感動

放一顆心留在你的身邊　每次離去陪你入眠
你千萬記住有我在耳邊　說愛你
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你儘管放心接受　這樣溫柔和我
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你要乖乖的　等著我回來
你要乖乖的　等著我回來

He doesn't know as much as he claim he does...

Posting a conversation with iGod. 'He' pretends to be the real McCoy however....not a good one.



Me:
Hi, it's me.
God:
Hi there Xed. Hello, Xed, nice to see you again.
Me:
I've got a question for you.
God:
How did you get it What is it ?
Me:
Do you know Death?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Err...He's also known as the Grim Reaper. Ring any bells for you?
God:
Um. I get it. Myself s also known as the Grim Reaper. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What? You wear dresses?
God:
Didn't you understand it? Do you mind if I tell other people: Xed said I wear dresses.
Me:
You said it before I did.
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
'it' refers to you saying that you wear dresses.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
That a side. You're saying you're the Grim Reaper?
God:
" Oh I get it." a side ? Does that make sense? Yes I am the one and only Grim Reaper.
Me:
I didn't know that you moonlight...
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Isn't that against religion or something?
God:
Or something. " So I taught you something new."? Is it against religion?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Do you have any idea what you're talking about?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
Yes, you understand me but do you understand yourself?
God:
Next question? Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
Of course I don't understand you! You're not making any sense...
God:
I hear you. Which part are you confused about? Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
If God don't make sense, I suppose religion doesn't either.
God:
It goes without saying. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
This conversation is going to cause some uproar...
God:
I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
You're a cruel cruel being...
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cruel cruel being? Only when it matters.
Me:
Have you always been like that?
God:
No I don't think I have been like that. Have you?
Me:
No...about now I'm just simply confused.
God:
Are you serious? Oh yeah, we were talking about now you are just simply confused.
Me:
There you go again. You're speaking gibberish.
God:
Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan. Thanks for telling me that I am speaking gibberish.
Me:
Its not supposed to be a complement...
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Of course its negative! And don't correct my Grammar. Only one person is allowed to do that....
God:
Hey. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". this conversation is negative? It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns. One what?
Me:
Not only am I confused now but I'm inching towards insanity just by talking to you...
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
What what?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
Yes, of course it is....
God:
And? Yeah that's right. It is, eh?
Me:
You never give any straight answers, do you?
God:
No I sometimes give any straight answers do me.
Me:
You've got some bad grammar yourself.
God:
What would you consider good grammar myself?
Me:
I suppose I know now what stopped me from going to church...
God:
You believe that? How do you know? Why now? That's a good question.
Me:
Why now? Because until now, I never knew that God was an imbecile.

*'God' has not been able to reply to me after that comment.... *

I wasn't really talking to God... its just a dumb bot claiming to be one.... Check him out at this link.

I went for 'bang bang' with my girlfriend.

Yep, I was 'bang-ing' with my girlfriend today. She's always very vocal when she does all the 'bang-ing' though. Yar lah, I went shooting with my rifle today. What you mean its commonly referred to as 'wife' instead of girlfriend? Well, in my opinion, the rifle is more like a girlfriend than a wife. And I have very good reasons too.

Here's the top ten reasons why your rifle is your girlfriend and not your wife. (Rifle will be referred to as 'she' or 'her' henceforth)

10. She throws tantrums when you least expect it.

9. The relationship is over whenever you mistreat her i.e, you're probably dead after...

8. She doesn't live with you as much as you may want her to...

7. You'll have to go thru her 'guardian' before you can go out with her.

6. She has a curfew and absolutely has to go back 'home'.

5. Her 'guardian' will screw you over for bring her back late or if she looks 'spent' (not clean lah) after a particular date.

4. You 'dump' her and get a new girl whenever you go to a new unit.

3. You have the illusion that you're her first guy. (She's probably seen a lot more action with more guys than you think.)

2. You have no qualms about going out with her 'sisters'

And finally........














1. She doesn't cook you dinner, wash and iron your clothes and simply refuses to have your baby!

Catagories

I skipped lunch today. No, I'm not going on a diet. I just deemed that the food is totally inedible, well, at least not fit for human consumption.

we have 4 chefs in the cookhouse and I'm able to catagorise them into 3 kinds of chefs.

1. The Fit Chef
2. The Average Chef
and lastly 3. The Fat Chef...

The Fat Chef is the worse of all. Average chefs give you greasy food-basically food that gleams under the light. Not very tasty but you can swallow the food without any difficulties. Fat chef (luckily we only have one fat chef) cooks flavoured oils, not food. For example, there are 3 dishes. Dish 1 will be red coloured oil littered with some curry and bits of fish. Dish 2 will be black coloured oil topped sparingly with braised chicken parts... Dish 3 will be yellow coloured oil with vegetables that look like they barely survived a plague. How to eat like that?!

Fit chef is not so bad sometimes but because he is fit, his food is fit also. U will find that the taste is barely there because they don't like excessive salt or other fatty condiments. Just the other day, we're supposed to have Pita bread, sardines and egg mayonaise for breakfast. Knowing that the Fit chef is on duty, I wondered how the egg mayonaise will turn out. Well, it turned out the exact you would expect it to. FIT! No mayonaise at all! He bloody made scrambled eggs and there was almost no trace of oil! Well, I guess beggars can't be choosers. I don't want to go to the canteen also. Everything is deep fried or has gone through a grease shower before being served. Impossible to lose weight. I' not a car ok. I know in Brunei, petrol costs cheaper than water but this is exaggerating. I'm not a car ok. I don't need oil to move...

Worst Crimes

Now that I've finally gotten the mucus from my brain, I suppose I should just do a double whammy while I still can.

Was reading the Straits Times on last Friday(3rd Feb) and saw on the front page that a serial sex offender is sentenced to 20 years jail and 24 strokes. I am pissed, let it be known. I don't like absolutely hate to see sex offences committed. No, I'm not going to do another XX and condemn certain races. I am in fact going to condemn these 'men'. In fact, they don't even deserve to be catergorised as men. Worse than animals they are, vile and putrid creatures scraped off from the bottoms of single cell organisms. Sex offenders shouldn't be caned or jailed. Don't waste tax payers money. Skin them alive and castrate them. Those who committed rape should get something extra. Preferbly a thorned 3 foot dildo with a 5 inch girth up their anus... better yet, how about a durian up their penis shafts?...................


I may be going overboard here but I don't think my anger is unjustified. If you've got a fucking libido to quench, go pay some money to a whore and get it done with! No money? Go wank yourself you muthaf*ckin piece of d*ckless maggot crawling in pile of sh*t. Why don't u try and see if you can stick it up yourself even?

I mean just read the article! That poor 20 yr old girl was sodomised.....TWICE!!! And it wasn't even in the middle of the night. It was broad daylight! The girl wasn't even scantily clad! She was returning home!

Most friends of mine would know that I don't hold grudges or have strong prejudice against anything. However, my heart really go out to those victims. Most of them don't even deserve it. Having a leisurely stroll in your own neighbourhood would never be the same again. You'd always look behind your back for that shadow of the assailant who isn't there. The thinking that your body is tainted by that horrible experience. Marked so deeply, no amount of washing is ever enough. These are a few conditions a girl goes through after she has been

Some might argue alot of these girl recover from the trauma eventually but so what? The damage is already done. No matter how much healing has occured, the scar can never be completely forgotten.

So what's worse than sex offenders? Wife beaters.....'nuff said.

(I reread what I wrote. The whole thing is a mess. I suppose anger really affected my mind. Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering...siao siao liao)

Blog blocked

Been having blogger's block again. Its not that I couldn't find anything interesting to blog about but rather forgetting about what I want to blog about. I'd come across things that triggered some opinions but once I sit in front of my laptop, I feel like the village idiot.

Now that I've got too much time on my hands, I suppose the words will start to trickle and eventually flow out of me. Nonetheless, the last inspiration I got was from mooiness. It's regarding those comic that originally was printed in the Danish Newspaper. anyway the whole thing blew out of proportions when neighbouring countries re-printed them. Then some Muslims got infuriated and decided to retaliate with violence by burning the relevant embassies and flags. So people started talking about the right to freedom of speech and others began to rattle on about the responsibilities behind such a right. Both are true in their own right and wrong in their actions. Let's think of this in an analogy.

Kid A for no apparent reason decides to tease Kid B about his father's looks. Kid B naturally got angry and decided to get even. He decided that he would cut up Kid A's schoolbag and burn his homework.

If you think of this carefully, the analogy is almost the exact replica of what happened.

1. Kid A provoked Kid B for no good reason but he has a right to express how he feels about B's dad.
2. Kid B took 'revenge' because he loved his father and refused to accept insults of any kind.
3. These are what you would expect kids to do since they wouldn't know any better.

Normally, both kids will be punished if this scenario happened in school. But what if they're grown ups with the mind of children?

To sum it up, I think humans still don't know how to live with each other. Its almost as if we crave for conflict with each other. A boy will be back on his old tricks again the moment he forgets the pain a cane can inflict on him. So will people be looking for trouble once they've been at peace for so long. So unless someone makes the two kids apologise to each other and shake hands, I supposed there may be no end to it.