Melancholia

I've not been able to sleep well for the past two days. Probably only managed to clock 2-3 hours of sleep over the last 50hours. I've become a walking zombie, I don't want to care about what's happening around me. I barely talkto people unless neccessary. I don't want to talk to them, I don't know what to say to them. I've learnt tolock so much inside of me that I don't even know what is underneath anymore. I want to scream out, tear and slash at whatever stands before me. I can't do them because I still very much have control over myself. I'm not a raving lunatic as yet.I don't know how long more I'll last. Its getting harder and harder to concentrate in my work. I want to go back to my room and cry shamelessly to myself. I need salvation. I want to be brave and continue standing on my two feet but I'm losing my strength and my vision is getting blur. Every heatbeat takes effort. My blood thickens, making the heart heavier and labour harder. I'm on the verge of tearing out the beating muscle and squash it with my bare hands. I supposed I'm filled to the brim but not quite overflowing. I bought a pack of cigarettes but I'm not smoking them. I need my good friend now but I've already abandoned him for so long. I doubt that he'll be able to satisfy me anymore. It'll be worse if I go back... I'll sink into depression knowing that I'm chaining myself back to him after having regained my freedom. I want to slash my flesh to see if my body is really as numb as it feels. I won't do it because I know its dumb. Ignore me because I don't want you to be affected or even infected by me. DON't ignore me, I need attention more desperately than ever before. I want to scream expel the putrid air in my lungs until I turn blue and drop dead from suffocation. I don't want to die but life seems so fragile right now. I don't know what I'm thinking, my mind is a mess. I need a rest. I'm tired........................................................................................................

Interesting Pics in Brunei!

Fwah! The Cha Siew Pao is almost as large as my hand!

Who in the world would pay 6k for a bloody lighter?! Its been in the showcase since I've arrived here 4 months ago... Obviously no one would buy it...
How about a 3.5k pen? Looks exquisite, doesn't it? Maybe the ink lasts a lifetime? Yeah right...this sucker probably won't last more than 3 months...

恋爱i n g !!!

陪你熬夜聊天到爆肝也没关系

陪你逛街逛成扁平足也没关系

超感谢你让我重生整个o r z

让我重新认识 love

(l o v e! l o v e!)

恋爱i n g happy i n g

心情就像是坐上一台喷射机

恋爱i n g 改变 i n g

改变了黄昏黎明

有你都心跳到不行

你是空气但是好闻胜过了空气

你是阳光但是却能照进半夜里

水能载舟也能煮粥喂饱了生命

你就是维他命l o v e

(l o v e! l o v e!)

恋爱i n g happy i n g

心情就像是坐上一台喷射机

恋爱i n g 改变 i n g

改变了黄昏黎明

有你都心跳到不行

未来某年某月某日某时某分某秒

某人某地某种永远的心情

不会忘记此刻l o v e

(l o v e! l o v e! l o v e! l o v e!)

恋爱i n g happy i n g

心情就像是坐上一台喷射机

恋爱i n g 改变 i n g

改变了黄昏黎明

有你都心跳到不行

黄昏黎明整个到恋爱i n g

With great powers, comes great responsibility.

After observing the online saga between a few girls, the 'quote' from Spiderman came to me again. I know that it has been a little over-used (its starting to become a little rancid as well) but it rings true time and again. With great power comes great responsibility! Believe it or not. Popularity endows one with a certain power over the masses. That is why public figures are very careful of what they say or do.

Don't we all remember what happened to Fann Wong when she received her first award? She innocently (maybe it was a smug remark... come to think of it, might have been a brainless remark) proclaimed that now that she's got the award, she doesn't know what to aim for the next year. She was flamed left, right, centre, upside-down,rightside-up, inside-out and outside-in for that comment.

So, as much as BM didn't want to associate herself with the other three girls or that XX didn't want to hang around with 'foreign talents'. We can't really say who's wrong and who's right. Both are expressing their own opinions. Yet, the words they use have such an effect that they got people to hate them, insult them and even sign petitions to 'boycott' them!

I suppose, no one really know what kind of powers they possess until they see the backlash these powers can bring. Like a double sided blade, power can strengthen you or bring you to your knees.

The evil Chinese supermarket owners!

Look at the two cans of Pringles potato chips. The one on the left boasts of an extra 40gms free. But yet, the price shows that the 'freebie' costs $2.50 while the original packaging is a mere $1.90.

















Upon closer inspection, one will realise that the extra 40gms really don't exist. Its just a measly 9gms more than the original packaging. So for that extra 9gms, consumers need to fork out 60cents! So who in his/her right mind would go for that 'special offer'? U'd only end up paying more fore less. Unfortunately, I can see the ppl here clearing the stocks like hotcakes.

Death's Revisit

Yep, my ol' friend came to me again this afternoon. I had to climb to the roof of my building this afternoon to fix a broken antennae. It wasn't really that high, just roughly about 3-4 metres off the ground. The ladder I got was only 2 metres tall, standing on the top of the ladder, I had to tip toe to reach the edge and do a chin up to yank myself up. The moment I got unto the roof, I felt his presence. Standing there on my own, I didn't feel the usual high I got from heights. My heart started thumping harder than usual. I wondered if my friend has finally come to claim me. Working under the sweltering sun, I could only feel him watching me intently, like a small child with an overpowering sense of curiousity.

Everytime I got close to the edge, I felt his touch. I pondered if he was trying to hold me back or waiting for the right moment to push me over. The sensation of this delicate contact kept distracting me from my work. Thoughts rushed into my mind, thoughts of what would happen should my life ended abruptly at that moment. I kept thinking of the people who are close to me.

I wondered if I should make someone else the benefactor of one of my insurance plans. Sure the money won't bring me back but it would at least give a new lease of life to her. If she were right there with me at the moment, I'd definitely get an earful from her. She'd told me to banish those insane thoughts out of my head. It was then that I managed to put my focus back on the work I needed to do.

Finally, after almost 2 hours of meddling with cables and ropes, I made my way down to the ground. Once my feet were on solid ground, I sat down immediately. Heaving a sigh of relief, I looked at my shaking hands and fingers. They were scraped quite badly from the rough texture of the nylon ropes.

"Do you feel better now?" Death asked.

A look of confusion took over my face.

"I've made you feel like she was by your side, didn't I?"

Death was right, I did feel as if she was beside me while I tended to the repairs. I could feel her worrying about my safety and wanting me to concentrate on what I was doing.

"Thanks pal, that's was nice of you"

And I felt him leave as sudden as his arrival had been. At that moment, the sun decided not to be harsh on me and hid partially behind a piece of idle cloud. Feeling the warm rays splashing on my face, I smiled to myself. It is good to be alive.

The lion and the hyenas

From my observation of the new personnels in my camp, I can safely conclude that my work place has become a magnet for the scum of the force. These people complicate my work and make it harder to accomplish my assignments. They fixate themselves over the tiny details and refuse to see the bigger picture. They are too preoccupied with themselves and do not see the inconvenience they've caused to others. There are times I simply wonder how these people survived annihilation when the dinosaurs didn't.

My workload isn't getting any lighter, on the contrary, it has increased. That shouldn't be happening. I'm still holding the same appointment as 3 months ago. If I'm required to cover some tasks of these morons, why don't these imbeciles relinquish surrender portions of their salaries to me as well?

They're probably the reason for my inability to sleep at night too. I suffocate from the thought that I have to continually have association with them. Its not like I can get rid of them after work, these retards are practically neighbours to me.

Try and strangle me if you must but trust me when I say this, " I will presevere and I shall prevail"