Chao Sergeant...

Today went for a dental check up and got my teeth polished instead. The process was painful and left tears streaming down without me knowing it. I grabbed the chair, tensed up every single muscle and shut my eyes real tight. I had half a mind to grab the overhead lamp and smash it right into the dentist's head while vulgarities spew forth from my bloodied mouth. The sane part of me decided otherwise.

As I sat outside the orthodontist's clinic later, with the constant taste of iron on my tongue, I wondered why I didn't feel this kind of pain at the dentist's when I was younger. While looking at the posters and licking the thick red liquid, the answer came to me like the 3 tonner that I rammed my head with a couple of years ago. I haven't been brushing as often and as thorough as I did when I was schooling. My standard for personal hygiene now is horrendous...or rather the tolerance of not having any is getting higher...

(Warning: Do not proceed if you don't have the stomach for details of bowel movements)

The turning point for me should be when I had to relieve myself in the jungle... After postponing it for 3 days, I really couldn't hold it in anymore. I had to go!!! I walked into the covered area and chose a nice dug hole that doesn't look as disgusting as the others. Squatting there and balancing my weapon while letting it all go. I realised I had to drop all notions of civilised etiquette from then on if I were to survive in one piece. There was no other choices... squatting with your pants down in the open while hearing someone else's wastes splatter (si piak, piak....) can cause a dramatic change. After that, the thought of not showering for days just doesn't seem to matter anymore. KANINA!! who the hell would actually think about brushing teeth and flossing!?

So from a chao recruit, I became a chao private (not chao privates hor you pu bor you) then a chao corporal and eventually a chao sergeant.

(*Author has been admitted into rehab to return into a civilised person when he's not wearing green...)