Crash Landing

Its been two weeks since I've been back in Singapore. One day after my plane landed, I'm back at work. Things have gone so hectic, I'm gasping for air. I sleep late and wake up early. Its like I've forgotten how demanding my job is fter the 2 weeks in Australia.

There's so much on my mind lately that I feel like pulling out my hair in frustration and screaming until my lungs implode. Istill have not gotten back to talking terms with my kid brother....I don't what o do. Part of me wants to forgive and forget but the other side of me refuses to give in. Thinking about my relationship with my brother has led me to think about my family. I realised that I'm not close to my family members at all. I seldom have much things to say to my parents or siblings. In fact, only my kid brother knows about my trip to Australia. My parents were totally in the dark. I couldn't find the reason that I need to inform them. Perhaps I've grown accustomed to being in charge of my own life for far too long. Sometimes I wonder if it would actually be better if I had a sister instead of a brother. Seems that brothers can be close when they were young but drift apart as time goes by. My family doesn't feel like a home at times... every individual functions on his or her own like an independent unit. I hope in the future my kids go through what I've experienced.

Speaking about the future, I'm getting more and more uncertain whether I want to go to Australia to further my studies. Sure, I want to get my masters but am I willing to put in te effort for it? There's so much I need to do to study overseas. And I'll be approaching 30 when I come back with a master degree. AND I need to finish the remaining 5 years of my contract. That will bring me to 35... Then there's marriage and kids.....I'm getting a headache just thinking about this...

Looks like I have to sign off here. I have to get back to camp to my troublesome platoon. More informaion about them the next time I blog.