Are you reading my mind? Or are you getting lost in it?

Kokomo

2008-05-22T00:41:00.002+08:00

I was browsing through Facebook and saw that this girl was from USA, Kokomo. The following was the dialogue between me and my wife.

Me: Eh? I didn't know there's such a place named Kokomo?

Wife: Yes, you didn't know?

Me: Really?

Wife: Yah, don't you know that song?

Me: (Thinking: I listened to it at least once a year when in JI lor...) Yah, I know that song.

Wife: You know the song?

Me: Yah. (sings) Everybody knows..... of a place called Kokomo.......

Wife: (Continues playing her Viva Pinata Game...)

Me: Ok, so not everybody knows.....

Wife: The irony of it....

2007-08-26T23:00:00.001+08:00

Today was the dreaded Army Half Marathon. I was participating the 6km run because I knew that I didn't have enough time to train and my body probably could not endure the staggering distance of 21km. Just before I left for the start point around 730am, I saw a medic perform chest pumps on someone. From my distance I could only tell there was a body lying in the military ambulance, I couldn't even be sure if that body was a real one. There was a crowd forming around the ambulance and I saw how tired the medic looked from just doing the chest pumps alone. At that point, I wonder what had happened. I really hoped that if that body was a real person, that he will regain conscious again. Just a brief glimpse and a brief thought. I didn't think about the incident until after my run.

I came back from the run and sat at the floating platform seats waiting for dismissal. I was rubbing my aching feet and lamenting on how out of shape I am. For some reason, the thought about the CPR in the ambulance came back to me again. I told my colleagues about it but no one really knew what had happened. So I didn't think about it again until my father-in-law told me the Army lost a captain this morning from the run. Then it struck me. The body I saw was the captain, he had collapsed immediately after completing his 21km.

Looking back, it was a real possibility that anyone of us could have died out there. Most of us did not get any real training prior to this. True, there was progressive training twice a week but is it really enough? Even if it was, how many of us have really attended every single training session? It was either the weather or our workload that prevents us from 100% attendance. Plus, we start training from 0730am while the run was at 0545am. The oxygen levels in the air is significantly different and the body will react differently.

Sleep was another matter altogether. The flag off for the 21km run was at 0545hr but a number of us were told to be present by latest 0430! That's 1 whole hour before the run starts. So in order to reach the floating platform by 430am, the runner would have to wake up around 330am latest. That would mean to be sound asleep by 8pm. Let's face it, how many of us can fall asleep at that time? Moreover, it is common for participants to lose sleep the night before because of the excitement or being nervous.

There are a lot more reasons to list out but already these two are a fatal combination. A body that is not fully trained and accustomed to running the distance and climate plus a significant lack of sleep. I only hope that the captain did not go through pain during his death.

Not quite the end

2007-08-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

Five years later, she has completely recovered from her previous injury. Not only has she released herself from the shackles of physical limits, she has also realised a few of her personal goals. Apart from working as an education officer, she goes to hospitals and hospices after office hours during weekdays to visit patients who have limitations like she used to. Walking in with high heels and a power suit, she represents to them the hope that each of them has to lead a normal life again. Having completed her Masters Degree, her new job gives her more flexibility with her working hours and a better pay than she used to command.

Weekends are the most precious to her. It is during these days that she is able to spend valuable time with her 2 darling children and loving husband. Having the twins wasn't an easy task, especially since she had barely recovered from her accident when they found out that she was expecting. The discovery that she was carrying twins was a happy surprise for twins ran in neither of their families. The pregnancy wasn't the easiest, but fortunately, her husband had been understanding, even when her food cravings were at their most unreasonable. The pregnancy was also tough since he had just embarked on the second part of his career and couldn't spend as much time with her as he would have wanted to. Luckily, they weren't financially dependent on his job as he had struck lottery just before his promotion.

Now, as she chased after chubby little Natasha with the latter's brightly coloured hat in her hand, she was laughing as she ran. They were at the beach, a favourite place of theirs on weekends for the children had plenty of space to run around there. The twins were also no stranger to sun, being almost as tanned as their parents. The beach holds a special place in their hearts, it was here that the children's mother almost lost her life and it was also where a new chapter of their parents' lives began.

Their wedding anniversary was next week. She smiled as she looked at her husband playing with the children. She had already prepared a present for him and hoped he would like it. It wasn't easy completing it behind his back but with her best friend's help, she had pulled it off. For their wedding, she had given him a cross-stitch of a little boy and little girl looking at a rainbow. For their anniversary, she was giving him a cross-stitch of a family of four. He should get the significance of it.

Gazing at her husband and her two children, she realised that her childhood dream had come true. She had her own family. A blissful family filled with joy and laughter. It was definitely not the end. Instead, it was a beginning. The beginning of yet another chapter of life she would walk, with him by her side...

Do you ever feel like crying?

2007-07-28T22:45:00.000+08:00

These Thai commercials are amazing. I never knew I could be made to cry in less than 1.5 mins.... Ok ok, so I'm a little more sensitive than most guys. Hey, crying isn't a crime. And I like crying sometimes. Relieves stress. Anyway, I've embedded the videos to my blog. Watch em and weep. Literally!!!

(I've placed these videos from short to long. I think the story more intensely sad too!!)

2007-07-14T23:53:00.000+08:00

Yep, its finally official. I'm no longer a bachelor since last Saturday. Nope, I wasn't nervous before the wedding and neither was I during it. Somehow, it just seems like everything is just happening the way it should be. (Except the part where I was made to sign this ridiculous contract...) Maybe it felt so smooth flowing was because things are destined to come to this. Just like how pieces of a jigsaw puzzle just fits perfectly together the way they were meant to be. So yar, I wasn't trembling or going to toilet or losing sleep the night before. I just knew everything was going to be just fine.

So what does it feel like to be married? Nothing seems to have changed for me. Probably because I've been living at her place since my return from Brunei. So I guess I've been pretty much part of the family for some time already. I guess what I like about being married is there's always someone sleeping next to you in bed with. Someone to cuddle with under the covers with the air-con at full blast. And most importantly, someone who is going to be in your life for as long as you or her shall live. (that's the 'till death do us part bit, in case you didn't know).

So there wasn't any stag night where I went out with my friends and partied all nite. I didn't see the point, I wasn't losing anything precious. Rather, I was getting to live with the love of my life. ( and I don't mean my XBox!!)

GL and/or XL

2007-05-16T22:13:00.000+08:00

HE-BITCH!

I've been referred as such before. I doubt I would have known how arrogant and stuck up I appear to others if it wasn't for my fiancée and a couple of her close friends. They told me how mean I actually can be and sometimes more devious than a scorned woman. But... 'WHERE GOT?!'

OK lah ok lah! I know I really can be quite mean to people sometimes but I don't do that to offend... Like when I trash talk whenever I drive, I don't really mean MOST of the things I said. It purely for me to vent frustrations from driving amongst idiots. I know its not easy to get a license in Singapore but those numbskulls really drive like they got their licenses cut out from cereal boxes!!

Erm... ok, I think the above example didn't really did much in clearing my name... FINE! I'm a HE-BITCH then! So be it! I'm one and I'm proud of it! What are you gonna do about it?! I'm not going to apologise about it and I know you are still going to be friends with me because its this arrogance projected from my confidence is something you admire in me. Well, stay around and it might just rub off you some!

SAY IT WITH ME! I'M A BITCH AND I'M PROUD OF ME!!!

Proposal 170307!

2007-05-13T12:57:00.000+08:00

My Visual DNA!

2007-05-13T12:55:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

GoodBye Bachelorhood!

2007-03-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

Yep! I'm getting married! Hopefully will be on 7th of July this year.

Will be posting some pictures of my marriage proposal when I get them from my friends. Wait for it!!!

Show me the money!!

2007-03-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

Its been some time since I've left my mark on the blogosphere. Been too lazy to write down my thoughts. Life seem to have settled down a bit more. The only thing that might be a problem is my financials. Just got myself a new car right on the eve of Chinese New Year plus still paying the rest of the balance for the "transparent rock on a metallic band that decorates a human appendage". Plus I realised I just got a $40 pay cut since Feb....KNN!!!

Luckily I've gotten the hang of spending more carefully with my money while in Brunei, so its still not so bad. Its not like I go hungry or stall paying my bills. But still.... Why can't a strike lottery?!

*Tiny voice inside my head whispers the reason to my consiousness*

Oh rite.... I don't gamble.... Dang!

Idiots for friends?

2007-01-21T12:25:00.000+08:00

She was surfing through some of the other girls' blogs for their accounts of what happened on that faithful day. I realised that most of them have had no idea that lightning can kill. Isn't that common knowledge? Lightnings are dangerous! No buts!

Its not fearlessness that my fellow surfers have when they daringly chase after thunderstorms for those strong winds they strongly sought for. It is pure stupidity... I'm not saying this because I don't them or am pointing fingers... ( I blame her too!) I mean, there was already a previous case of a lightning striking another surfer but no one seemed to have learnt the lesson. How stupid can people get? Do you really need someone to die before your very eyes before you admit that lightning has the power to kill?

静静的

2006-11-03T00:46:00.000+08:00

空气里躲着什么有点浪漫的心动
我偷偷看你你也偷偷看我
世界上多了什么好像变得很不同
站在你身边这一切都好宽阔

我还在等着你静静的爱我
只要有你陪我静静的就足够
你也在等着我静静的温柔
就这样手牵手静静的看着天空

心里面藏着什么你只想要让我懂
原来我的梦也就是你的梦
纸条上写了什么我好想要听你说
让字字句句充满我们的笑容

我还在等着你静静的爱我
只要有你陪我静静的就足够
你也在等着我静静的温柔
就这样手牵手静静的看着天空

永远要记得那天彼此许下的承诺
瞬间点亮的火花是我们的拥有

我还在等着你静静的爱我
只要有你陪我静静的就足够
你也在等着我静静的温柔
就这样手牵手静静的看着天空
静静的手牵手是最简单的梦

So I believe...

2006-10-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

(From your sms dated 18th april 2006)

我相信我和你
一定会有结局
任时光再侵袭
拥抱一样坚定
这世界有太多
会消失的美丽
但你是你
所以我相信

（ Translation)

I believe me and you
will definitely have an ending
Let time come against us
our embrace will still be steadfast
This world has too many
transient beauty
But you are you
So I believe
~~~~~~~~~

So I still believe in our future.
I won't back down from what we have.
No matter what happens, I'll still be holding your hand.
My heart is your's forever...

To J

2006-09-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

J, if you're reading my blog and want to contact me, my singapore number is 97693376. You'd probably guessed that she's in a coma right now...

Please come back...

2006-09-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

I want you to come back and be the way that you were. Your daddy, mummy and I are worried sick. Everyday we hang around you, just waiting. Waiting for the little flicker in your eyelids, the small movements in your fingers or a slight flinch in your legs. Waiting for you to wake up. Your parents have made me come back to your place to rest, we are taking turns to stay beside you. I just can't go to sleep right now. Even as I'm writing this in your room, tears are welling up in my eyes and blurring my vision. I'd give up anything for you to recover completely. Even my own life. Please wake up soon..... I love you....

A few more days to go

2006-08-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

My replacement has arrived as of yesterday. When I was sorting out the things I have to hand over to him, I realise that the job scope from when I started till now has evolved drastically. Also, I realised that though my predecessor took one whole week to teach me the ropes, there wasn't really a lot of things that I had to learn. What took him a week would probably take me a day or two to pass down. There are quite a number of responsibilities taken from my job scope but so have a few been added. Overall, I've lesser (but heavier...) responsibilities to hand over and that means a shorter time span for the under study period. Suddenly 3 working days seem like an awful long period.

Now that the date of my return is drawing closer, I am kinda getting more worried about adapting to Singapore. It's easier to save money here ( in Brunei) because I draw a larger amount of pay and there isn't really much I can spend on. So its going to be quite tough to resist the temptations of spending money when I'm back at home. I really hope that I can maintain the habit of spending only on what I need instead of what I want. One thing for sure, I need to buy new clothes... Going back home the last few times, I observed that I don't really own a lot of clothes, I usually wear what my brothers have or mix and match with my own. ( The bliss of having siblings when you are too darn lazy to go shopping) See! Haven't go back and I already thinking about how to spend my money liao!!! Die lar like that!! *hears bad fifi sniggering in the background*

To digress, I was checking out my own blog entries from a year ago and saw that my writing style have changed too. I suspect its because of the absence of Al. Al's a good friend and employee and not having him around to mess with my head and bodily functions is probably why I don't write wacky entries anymore. Another good reason is the amount of novels I've been reading. To date, I've read about 50 plus novels... probably more cos I really lost count. Yes yes, that roughly gives you an idea of how much free time I have on my hands. What do you expect me to do when there is practically zero night life here? Reading was an old habit of mine when I was way younger (I'm not kidding) and I supposed its almost like being re-acquainted with an old friend. You don't know how much you're missing out until you do some catching up with each other. This also goes to say, I better be keeping my friends in contact when I come back.

I'm coming back?

2006-08-12T21:04:00.000+08:00

Yep, I'll be back in Singapore for good after 2 more weeks here. I can still remember the day I left like it was just last week. I should be very excited about returning to Singapore but somehow I'm not. Instead, I feel cool and composed. Its not that I'm not happy about coming back but I'm more in a state of mind to get myself prepared to face the new challenges that will present themselves before me.

I'm kinda scared too... The pace of life is so different here in Brunei that I'm not sure if I'll be able to adapt to the mad scramble back home. Whatever happens, at least there is one thing I know for sure. ;)

Movies

2006-08-12T18:53:00.000+08:00

I'm a movie buff.... Ok an addict....

Are you?

Try answering this.

Anger Management

2006-07-28T20:50:00.000+08:00

I wanted to post this up a couple of weeks ago but never really found the chance to. Anyway, its just a short story I got from some circulating emails which I'm sure some of you may have read before. I can't really remember the whole story so I made up the names and summed up the story a bit.

David and Sharon have been happily married to each other for 10 years. They have a 6 year old son, Micheal. David works a regular 9-5 office job while Sharon is a part-time housewife. She would work in the mornings and pick up Micheal from the day-care centre in the afternoons. One particular afternoon, Sharon was having a terrible migraine after picking up Micheal. She put Micheal in bed for his afternoon nap before consuming some painkillers from the medicine cabinet. Soon after, she went to bed to rest. Unfortunately, Micheal woke up from his nap earlier than usualy and was wondering about the house. He saw that the medicine cabinet was open and proceeded to satisfy his curiousity. Opening bottles of pills, he thought the colourful capsules and tablets were candy and started popping them into his mouth....

A few hours later, Sharon woke up and went to check on Micheal. She found little Micheal lying on the couch and frothing at the mouth. Realising that her child had swallowed a huge amount of medication, she rushed Micheal to the nearest hospital. David was informed of the incident by the hospital and he rushed off from work. When he got to the hospital, he saw Sharon sobbing uncontrollably. A doctor approached David and told him that they couldn't save Micheal.

Knowing that Sharon had indirectly caused Micheal's death, he sat down beside her and took a deep breath. Most of you would expect David to blame Sharon for the death of their only child but he didn't do that. Instead, he put his arm around Sharon, comforted and consoled her.
~~~~
That's where the story ends. The point to note here is David did not show any anger towards Sharon. He knew that she too had lost her only child. He knew that she is already blaming herself. And he knew that being angry wouldn't bring Micheal back. Some people might disagree with his reaction. Someone told me its better to let the anger flow out than to keep it pent up inside. I totally agree that anger shouldn't be caged up. However, if we just take a step back and understand how the other party feel, we'd realise that there isn't a reason for anger to exist in the first place. Why do we even want to show wrath to people we love? Since when would that solve anything or make things better? Instead, we only hurt them more. I realised this from the first time I read the email and decided to keep my temper in check whenever I can.

Just the other night, I was having a great time with my significant other. Halfway through dinner, something happened and I got angry about it. I stormed into the washroom immediately to try to calm myself down. When I came back, she knew something was wrong and asked me about it. Still feeling a little pissed, I told her in the most restrained manner as I could. After telling her and getting her apology, I managed to drop the issue completely. It may have been a small matter to begin with but it could have ruined an otherwise perfect night out. There is no point in both of us being upset when it could have been resolved in the 'civilised' manner.

So next time you feel like blowing your top, take a breather first. There is no need to bare your fangs to the person you love.

Another day

2006-07-15T17:35:00.000+08:00

Today's the Sultan's birthday. the streets of the capital were closed in the morning for a parade. Various places around the country were decorated with light-ups which rivaled those that were put up during the Muslim holidays. Its supposed to be special this year since its His Majesty's 60th. Personally I don't really see what the fuss is all about. So the country has declared today as a public holiday and everyone gets to rest...but then I thought it doesn't really make a difference since the peopl doesn't really take their work seriously on normal days anyway... Ok, I know I know, I really should stop bad-mouthing the country. I really have to admit though, that my 1 year sojourn here has made me really appreciate Singapore. Things are a lot more cheaper (not counting the pirated dvds) and convenient. Sure the government doesn't give us as much freebies as the Brunei Sultan but it only made sure that the people work for themselves and for the country.

Speaking of Singapore, I'm so glad that I'll be back in a week's time. Though its only going to be for a few days but at least I get to spend precious time with her. Moreover, after the trip, I only have one more month to spend in Brunei before coming back for good! YES!!! Its the end of my tour of duty here!!! (Its really hard to resist the temptation of cheap cigarettes! And I'm proud to say I've stayed away for 10 months!!!)

Moreover, I won't be always bored!!! This country really has nothing to offer in terms of entertainment values. The movie theatres are sub standard, there is no night life there's not even a decent video arcade centre! I miss having a 7-11 just around the corner....

Saya sekarang 'botak'

2006-07-09T14:51:00.000+08:00

Yep, I am now a baldie... Had an accident with an indian barber last weekend. I asked him for a number 2 cut for my side and back. The bugger just nodded and started the haircut. All was going well at first. He was shaving the right side of my head and suddenly he just went up... The moment he did that, I grabbed on to his hand to stop the damage. I looked in the mirror and saw that there was no hope in trying to cover up the error. So I had no choice but to resign to fate, I looked at him and told him to go on with it and shave my head completely. And so, I went back to camp looking like a recruit. Funny thing is, ppl seem to treat me differently after the haircut. Then I found out why... the boys from my office told me I look a lot more fierce and hostile with the haircut. Maybe that's the real reason but I find it funny that ppl are scared of me because of my haircut...

Anyway, I was reading angry doctor's blog and found something interesting. Apparently there is this 'Hair for Hope' campaign going on in Singapore. Organised by the Children's Cancer Foundation, the objective is to invite members of the public to shave their heads and tell the cancer stricken children and their families that they are not alone in their fights against cancer. It is also to help raise funds for the CCF.

So if you don't mind losing your hair for a while ( I'm presuming your hair still grows out of your scalp normally...), why not do something meaningful and register yourselves for a shave? Its for a good cause. (Moreover, you won't be able to tease me when I come back with a shaved head. :P)

2006-06-26T17:52:00.000+08:00

Vous êtes l'amour de ma vie

Sick

2006-06-17T18:15:00.000+08:00

Down with high fever and a bout of flu last week. Just when things were getting busy for me, I had to collapse with illness.

Was already feeling weird on Tuesday but I decided to self medicate. On Wednesday morning I was feeling like I'm back on my feet and ready to go. By afternoon, I felt feverish but I had to persist in with my work. Just some time before dinner time, I felt the world swirl and grow distant. Suddenly I blacked-out in an office, my knees buckled for a split second and I caught myself before I hit my head from the danger of passing out. I tried to stand but lost my balance and had to go back to a 'half-squat' position. I was told to sit down on the floor immediately by the officer. (As irony would have it, he was the unit officer and we were preparing for the unit safety day...)

Scalding tears swelled in my eyes before flowing out on their own accord, creating rivers of salty water that evaporated almost immediately. I felt so ashamed that I had couldn't hold out for another half an hour. (Whoever said 'Mind over body' obviously needs a whopping real good.) Once my body has given in, the mind starts to falter. I just sat there for 5-10 mins and couldn't even string my thoughts out straight. My boys came over and applied some medicated oil on my temples before helping me back to my office. As I laid on my sofa, I took controlled deep breaths and slowly got myself back up on my feet. Going for dinner, I took more medicine and went to sleep immediately.

2224hrs

I woke up feeling pain and sore all over my body. It was like I had transformed in some baker's dough that has been kneaded repeatedly and am sitting in a hot oven. Heat emanated from inside my body like my organs were burning under iron molten. I messaged her and told her of my condition. I was suffering under such intense 'discomfort' (in the lack of a better word) that I became a little delirious. I got help from the duty officer (luckily he was bunking next door) and he arranged for a vehicle to bring me to the hospital.

0100 hrs

Having returned from hospital, my pain has slightly subsided due to my lethargy and exhuastion. I fell asleep waking up the next day for meals and medication (and some TLC over the phone).

On Friday, I got right back to work and kept my body condition in check. Drinking plenty of water as well as adequate rest, I need to get healthy again. I don't want her to worry over me and feel helpless the way she was the night I went to the hospital. (I know how terrible it feels...)

Death knocks but doesn't enter.

2006-06-10T16:33:00.001+08:00

My good friend played a prank on me on the 31st last month. I was driving a rented car along the expressway in Brunei at approximately 100km/h. The Mazda2 was getting very wobbly so I decided to shift gears. And then it happened....

I heard loud pop and felt my steering wheel tremble even more violently then before. Next thing I knew, I caught the smell of something burning and the vehicle tilting slightly to the right. Then adrenaline kicked in and time slowed to a crawl. I was driving on the right side of the road and my vehicle was skidding towards the left...straight at the center divider. I depressed both the clutch and brakes while swerving to the left to avoid hitting the railings. Next thing I knew, the car was almost perpendicular to the road and I was still moving at the correct flow of traffic.... I was drifting in the bloody car!!!

My mind started to scream at my senses, "You're going to be in an uncontrollable spin if you over drift!" I released the clutch and brake, and went to tapping the brake and accelerator alternatively. I managed to counter the drift. I checked the speedometer and saw that I was still fighting for control at 80km/h. Instinct told me to look into the rear view mirror to check for oncoming traffic, I may not hit anything in front but someone might crash into me from the back! To my relief, the closest car was about 500 meters away.

At this point, I no longer have any more thoughts in my head. I relied purely on intuition alone. Tapping the brake repeatively and countering the car's skidding, I knew the car was losing to me. Soon, the vehicle straighten and I saw that I was going at 55km/h. The steering wheel was still shaking like its on steroids, I gripped the wheel tighter and saw my knuckles go white. Putting more pressure on the brake pedal while I directed the wobbling car to the left road shoulder, I waited till the speed was at 30km/h before deciding to engage 1st gear.

Once I stopped, I looked at my side mirror to check for vehicles before opening my door. I decided against it and decided to switch off the engine first. Wise choice... the moment I felt the key with my fingers, a car zoomed right by. The car was in my blind spot! I would have been killed had I not decide to kill the engine!

Playing safe, I looked back before opening the car door to assess the damage. I barely closed the door when the sight of the shredded tyre welcomed my sight. ( Ok, it was exactly shredded but it was really bad) I stooped down to take a closer look and realised the the tyre was very badly worn out. The threads were bare on one side, which indicates incorrect air pressure in the tyre, the reinforcing steel wires in the tyre were exposed as well!

I started feeling the after effects of the adrenaline rush. I walked behind the car and sat on the railings. My first thoughts were on her. I need to hear her voice right then. My hands shook like they belonged to a drug junkie on cold turkey. I barely managed to key the numbers with my trembling fingers. The call didn't go through. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm my nerves. I decided to send a message to her instead. Then I called back to camp and asked for help. At this point, a local boy walked up to me from behind. He was asking me if I needed his help. ( I understood bits and pieces of Malay and strung them together to realise what he was saying) I replied in (very)broken Malay to tell him I had a punctured tyre.

I took out the spare tyre from the trunk and all the tools that's found inside. Apparently other than the car jack, nothing else was of use. We needed a spanner and he told me he'll go borrow it from some of the houses nearby. I waited and calmed myself further while he walked a few hundred meters off to the houses. He came back 10-15 mins later with the X-spanner. I jacked the car up while he loosened the nuts from the tyre. Then he put the new tyre (it was a smaller sized one but I didn't have any other choice) before I jacked down the car. I took the damaged tyre to the trunk and got my fingers stabbed by the steel wires. Blood trickled down my pinky and ring fingers. I took out a bottle of water from the car and washed my hands (they were very dirty from the tyre changing.) My pinky refused to stop bleeding. I remembered that she left me a piece of band-aid in my bag. I took it out from my bag and applied it to my left pinky finger.

I gave the boy 20 bucks as a sign of gratitude and asked him if he needs me to give him a lift. He shook his head and smiled at me. I got back in the car and drove back to camp. I needed to wash my hands with soap and water and I needed to see some familiar faces.

The incident really left a deep impression...I can still recall the details of what happened in those few seconds of struggle like it just happened. I can still see the skid marks on the expressway whenever I pass by in the camp ferry. I'm glad to be alive.... really.

A gentler story

2006-05-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

I realised that much of my 'stories' are kinda violent. People who knows me, knows that I have a sensitive side too. *hears laughter in the background* Hey, I do have a softer side. I'm just not good in expressing myself. SOOooooo..... I'm going to try to write something a little romantic. (Its my first attempt and it will probably be pathetic so its ok to laugh at it.)

Vanessa twirled her teaspoon in her coffeecup, stirring its contents mindlessly. Staring out the expansive glass window of her favourtie delicatessen and into the drizzle, she remicising the times when she would be cuddling in Paul's arms while watching snowflakes descending. She'd have her head on Paul's chest and him leaning on the wall. Tears swelled up in her eyes as the pain tore into her heart once again. She was the one who initiated the break up and refused to pick up his calls. To make it worse, she couldn't even confide in her best friend for 15 years. How could she, when it was Nellie that Paul was kissing? Seeking comfort from the very person who betrayed you is impossible... (Can't do it... Its so hard... told u ppl its pathetic...)

ITS A GOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!

2006-05-29T18:57:00.000+08:00

That line is one of few that will be echoed over and over again for the whole of next month when the World Cup takes place in Germany. Though I've lost touched with soccer for a long long time, the world cup fever still gets to me one way or another.

Its not only the game that intrigues me but the atmosphere of the whole tournament. Other than the Olympics, which other sport on the globe dare boast such huge viewership? In my opinion, the world cup gives me the opportunity to have a glimpse of real world peace and human unity. Throughout history, we have proof that even wars slow down to a halt during the world cup finals. People from around the world have centre their attention on soccer for the few months before, during and after the finals.

Hooligan fans aside, most fans boo at the same bad decisions a referee makes, the same irrate player who commits the worse fouls and feels the agony when a ball accidentally hits a groin (Ouch). Such is the potential of the human population. The ability to unite and agree with each other and stand on common ground.

Maybe it won't happen in my lifetime but maybe it will for my children. The day the world realise that we are all not so different from each other, then we will all work together for a better future for mankind (and womankind :P) Till then, I can only have a vague glimpse of this one united world from the World Cup.

I hope Brazil wins...

Untitled

2006-05-24T20:30:00.000+08:00

My name is L18n7. I have organic skin and hair like a human, my processing system is a simulation of the human mind( only faster). My father was technology developing software. He has been obsolete for 3 months. My mother is a Terra Robotics Corporation factory located in Continent 5, what was previously known as South America. I was conceived and born in approximately 2 hours, 57 minutes and 48 seconds. I now reside in Continent 1, what was previously known as Asia, working on a variety of jobs. The planet Terra, P.K.A. Earth, has been fully automated since 2 centuries ago. There are only approximately 4 million humans left on Terra, out of the 135.3358 billion that resides in the Milky Way Galaxy. Humans have been colonising parts of the Universe for the past millenia. There have been records of 4.583 thousand intelligent life-forms discovered in the Archives of Project Exploration. Of these, 1.334 have been found to be hostile and have since been eradicated. I was part of the last eradication programme, what would be have been termed as an alien invasion for the lack of a better description. I've been tasked to encode my experience, to be analysed by Terra's Mainframe for better efficiency in our next 'conquest'. The copy you are reading now is a 'human-friendly' format to be inserted into the Archives.

Training-4 hours, 28 minutes and 17 seconds.

I was brought to the military academy for uploading of weapons handling, vehicles operation and maintenance, tactical manoeuvers, enemy bio-data, enemy warfare data... After the upload, I was issued with the standard infantry fieldpack. After checking the inventory of the fieldpack, I marched with the rest of the cyborgs and human soldiers to the convey ships. On board the convey ship, I was hooked up to the ship's system for furthur briefing on my mission objectives and my unit's ORBAT and callsigns.

T -30 mins to D hour.

I was the designated driver for the 2nd AAPC (Armoured Assault Personnel Carrier) in a convoy of 20. My vehicle commander was Master Chief, Julian Kragger, a veteran who have participated in the last 3 eradication programmes. MC Kragger was born on Terran's moon and was 492 years of age. He was born to Warrior class parents; most of his body parts were either genetically modified or replaced by mechanical parts when he reached 18. Being a natural soldier, his aging process is slower than normal. At 300, he looked barely a day older than 21 ( 21 years of unmodified human lifespan). Almost reaching 500, he has barely crossed the threshold of physical peak. En route to the rendevous point, he was sharing his experience with me as well as giving me advice when out in the field. This was redundant since I have downloaded more actual tactice battle scenarios than he could achieve in 4 lifetimes. Being polite to my superior officer, I refrained from stopping him and displayed what would pass off as admiration on my 'human' face. After 3 hours of piloting, we reached the RP without a hitch. MC Kragger seemed to change into a different man the moment his feet made contact with the soil. Alighting from the AAPC, Master Chief began barking orders at the infantry squads under his charge. Our objective was to raze one of the enemies' breeding nest....

Personality Disorder Test.

2006-05-22T15:10:00.000+08:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Time again...

2006-05-12T20:34:00.000+08:00

Call me weird but I've always been intrigued by the concept of time manipulation. One of my favourite movies is the 'Back to the Future' trilogy. (No...I didn't read time machine, I was too young to read books of that kind of level).

I mean let's face it, we have no control over time at all. It just comes and goes. Its like standing still in the middle of a huge rushing river. You can't experience the water that hasn't reach you yet and neither can you regain the sensation of which has washed past you. You're helpless against time. Even if you are an immortal, you merely are able to stand eternally in that river. (Us mortals get eroded and flow away with time, soon to be forgotten once out of sight) What if we could move through time like a boat on the rushing water? What would you do?

What kind of technologies would we have in the future? Will the universe end? What will my children look like? What about the past? How did the universe start? How did the dinosaurs die? What were my parents like when they were growing up? All sorts of questions that I would like answered...

Which brings me to another question- How will my life turn out if I could go back and change things? Ok, I know having to go through primary 1 maths can be extremely boring but that's not the point. What if you knew who your real friends were? Will you still want to be close to those who betrayed you? Will you spend more time with your relatives whom you know will be passing away in due time? There's so many thing I know I'd like to do differently, erase some experience that scarred me horridly, undo some things that embarrassed me. But yet, all these experience would make me the person I am today. No matter how distasteful how some of them were, I don't want to see the world as a 5 year old.

So if I don't really want to change my life, could I help other people with their's? I've thought about that before too. 'The butterfly effect' is one such movie that comes to mind whenever I think about this. Aston Kusher acted as this guy who found that he has the ability to go back to keypoints in his life and alter history. He tried to make his life better then he tried to make his girlfriend's life better. Unfortunately, things just got more and more screwed up the more he tried. Eventually, the best course of life was to sever all ties with his girlfriend... So will I change another person's life? I doubt so. There are so many unknown factors that may happen if the course of history is tempered with. By changing one known page, we run the risk of creating a multitude of unknown outcomes. Will we be able to live with the consequences? What if the day you make yourself run back home just to be at your grandma's deathbed resulted in your friend getting run down by a truck?

Just like the peace after a storm... that's how I feel on the aftermath of the tornado of questions my mind kicks up. Things come to a conclusion. I'd remember that the way I want to live my life. I don't want to have regrets. I don't live each day as though its the last. No, that is actually too tiring. Instead, I cherish what I have, every single moment. I don't want to be an old man who looks back at his own life and asks 'what ifs'. So if you're reading this, don't hestitate to show or tell your loved ones how you feel. Don't try to save something for that special occasion. You may never know when will be the day you get washed away by the currents.

How to work with idiots.

2006-05-04T11:06:00.000+08:00

Well, it’s been a long time since I've posted something funny. So here's my 2 cents on survival with morons, imbeciles and nincompoops! A must have for working with idiots at your work place.

1. Maintain the illusion.

Most idiots have no idea that they're idiots. (Those who do know may still have a slim chance of hope for further evolving.) In fact, they think of themselves as the crème de la crème, the sharpest tool in the shed. Do not burst their bubble! It is easier to work with them this way. IF however, you do manage to convince them otherwise, you'll have to work your way around their childish and silly ways of proving themselves to be better than you. Believe me, it’s not easy to work with an idiot underfoot.

2. Be an acquaintance

Yes, by all means, acknowledge their existence. I'm not saying that you should actually be a friend to them or keep them as pets. (I seriously warn you against doing the latter unless he/she has been toilet trained rigorously) Idiots are like airborne germs, you ignore them totally and they can blindside you with hay fever or an allergy.

3. Know how to separate your mind and body.

This is essential should an idiot find it a must to have a conversation with you. Entertain the moron for a while with the usual small talk. (WARNING: attention on idiot should not exceed an approximate of more than 0.001 micro second. Idiocy may rub off!) Once small talk has been established, try to break away from the conversation. Should the attempt fail, you should start to ~~filter out~~ block out everything. Let your mind wander off and maybe think of something more important that you should be doing.

4. Lower your expectations

When I say this, I mean really lower your expectations to the point where you don’t expect anything to be accomplished. What you should really expect though, is a whole bunch of errors, nonsensical ramblings and recycled toilet paper trying to pass off as real work. Be prepared to redo his/her work because the only work that’s going to come out as acceptable is if done by you guiding his/her hand for the whole duration.

5. Purchase a voice recorder.

Idiots are born with serious hearing impairment as well as extremely flawed short term memory. Be aware that idiotic minds work like etch-a-sketch boards. The only difference is you have to actually shake the board to erase it. The idiot’s mind has an auto erase function that is activated every time the idiot breathes. Writing down what you’ve said is redundant as well. They tend to lose the paper or eat the note, with the latter being more likely. Plus, idiots don’t really know how to read… So to spare yourself the hassle of repeating your words over and over again, get a voice recorder and replay it when the idiot confronts you.

The above are 5 very basic guidelines to follow. I’d like to write more but I would probably end up writing a book on this subject. So I’d like to give one final piece of advice for working with idiots: Don’t!

A little story

2006-04-29T20:34:00.000+08:00

(I wrote this a few months back but never got around to finishing it. Now that I've got time on my hands, I might as well come up with an ending for it.)

A long time ago, there was a young socerer and a young sorceress. They have barely graduated from the academy of sorcery when they were both assigned the same quest to complete. They were instructed to travel from the academy to a remote highland to retrieve a scroll of necromancy spells. There were only two roads leading to the highland from the academy. One was stone paved most of the way with occasional encounters with obstacles. These obstacles are no easy feats for they require vast knowledge of sorcery and a quick mind to negate through. The other road was littered with sharp gravel and debris. There are still obstacles but none as difficult as the first road provided.

The younger sorceress, having graduated from the academy with distinction, was confident that she’ll be able to overcome any obstacles that may stand in her way. The sorcerer had only managed to scrap through enough to graduate. Naturally, the sorceress chose the stone path where else the sorcerer chose the gravel path.

(Ok, I’m sick of calling them sorcerer and sorceress, He’s Jack and she’s Jill…. Stop bugging me about originality!!!)

Not wanting to dirty her new pink silk and velvet shoes, Jill conjured a spell which immediately levitated her. She cruised down the stone pathway with ease and speed, leaving Jack in a dust cloud she left behind. Poor Jack couldn’t recall the enchantments to the spell and can only walk the gravel road in his trusty old boots.

The journey was long and tedious as it took the both of them a few months before their roads merged again a distance before the entrance to the highland. Jack smiled at Jill when they both reached the junction together. Jill, on the other hand, had tears welling up in her eyes. Her shoes were torn, her dress was dirty and tattered. Jack was in no better condition, his boot had been torn to shreds within the first mile and he had been barefoot ever since. His clothes barely covered him and offered no protection to the harsh weather he had to endure.

Now only one final obstacle stood before them. A minotaur known as Duragh stood before the gates to the highland. Duragh was brutal and cruel to his preys. He'd toy around with his food before finally casting down a fatal blow and consuming the carcass.

Jill took bravely in front of Duragh, convinced that she's the only one who could defeat him. Duragh took one look at Jill and let out a vicious laugh. "What are you going to do to me little girl? Manicure me to death? Hahahaha!" Filled with wrath, Jill unleashed her most powerful spells at the minotaur. She threw everything she had at him but the minotaur merely waved them off like illusions. Lightnings and raining boulders came at Duragh but nothing seems to be able to harm him. Exhausted from the trip and the battle, Jill fell to her knees and sobbed, convinced that both Jack and her will perish without completing their quest. Seeing that Jill no longer has the will to fight, Duragh raised his spiked mace and prepared to deliver his final attack.

Jill shut her eyes and awaited for death to claim her swiftly. She shivered as the mace swished through the air towards her head. Then there was silence. Jill thought that she had died so quickly that she couldn't even hear the spikes crushing her skull. She relaxed her eyelids and opened her eyes. The image in front of her was incredible. Jack had actually stopped the mace with his bare hands! Yanking the mace from the grip of Duragh, Jack simultaneously conjured a fireball directed at the minotaur's eyes.

Duragh bellowed out with pain as he staggered backwards with his hands covering his eyes. Blinded by the searing heat and enraged by the numbing pain, Duragh lurched forward in a senseless attempt to grab Jack. Anticipating the mindless attack, Jack allowed Duragh to gain a death grip on him. Before Duragh managed to squeeze the life of of Jack, he screamed once again as poisonous needles sprout forth from Jack's body and pierced Duragh's hands. Seizing the moment, Jack threw another spell and conjured a jagged rock in Duragh's throat. Poisoned and choking, the minotaur didn't last long. Jack helped Jill up to her feet as the minotaur collapsed to the ground.

"H...how did you do that?" Jill looked at Jack with astonishment.

"It was the path I took. The road was tough and nothing offered sanctuary. Humility taught me to endure and endurance gave me strength."

Jill blushed in embarassment at Jack's words. When they had completed the quest, Jill could no longer be sure whether she or Jack was the better sorcerer...

Time

2006-04-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

The previous two weeks came and went faster than a blink of an eyelid. Then time decided to slow to a crawl, the moment I left her at the airport. I don't miss my home, my family nor my friends as much as I miss her. Its been less than a week since but it feels like its been more than a month.

A watched pot never boils but I can't help but keep tab on the time. I so much want to go back to Singapore to be with her yet again.

I try to put all of myself into my work. Indulge in it so that I won't notice the time. But my work has the tendency to screw up for no apparent reason. I suppose it has to do with working with idiots... When work screws up, I really want to just crawl back to my sweetheart's embrace. Not that I'm a wuss but it beats having to face morons and trying to have a intelligent conversation with them.

I know this post isn't really making much sense...well, my world isn't really any better now. Someone invent a teleporter already.... I can hardly stand being in the world of nincompoops anymore...

Wind surfing

2006-04-03T01:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I got a 'be-lated' valentine day present. It was a one day course at windsurfing! I've always wanted to pick up windsurfing but .....ok lah, I procrastinated! So the course today consists of two parts. Part 1 was in the morning, we learnt how to sail with the wind and do a basic U-turn. Then we went out to the waters for practical. There was a light breeze in the morning so it was kinda easy to control. There a slightly strong gust of wind picking up just before the end of Part 1. It was then I realised how shiok it actually is to have the wind empowering your ride. The speed you feel is very much different from the conventional kind you get from vehicles. Those kind of speed, you feel the wind pushing against you. But when you are pushed ahead by the wind, it feels like you're part of it and its all so natural!

Then came part 2 after lunch. This time, we're taught how to turn the sail while upwind or downwind. While we were on shore practicing with the 'simulator', there was a pretty strong wind blowing. I could see a lot of windsurfers having fun out in the sea. I was itching to go already... when we finally concluded with the simulator, the wind died!!! I could see that there was a storm still brewing but yet the wind was almost none existent.... Pushing my trainee board and sail out to the sea, I hoped that the wind would pick up again somehow. To my dismay, it didn't.... Si Beh Sian Lor!! Finally understood what it means to be 'posing' on the water. I didn't like that at all. After a few minutes of 'posing', I decided that male modelling is not the kind of work I'm into and lowered my sail into the waters. Then the storm came in and soon it was raining cats and dogs with the occassional lightnings... So disappointing... Inside I was boiling, so I decided that the rain should just cool me down while I help keep the equipment.

If it wasn't for the nice dinner at the end, I would probably be pissed about the wind till now. I'm going back out there to try again. I think I'm addicted to the feeling of becoming one with the wind....

Vacation in Singapore!

2006-03-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

I'm coming back ppl!!! Get Ready For ME!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(Disclaimer note: Author has obviously forgotten to consume his medication. Please excuse his temporal insanity.)

My brain is neither male nor female...

2006-03-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

For the benefit of Marina, who asked me to do this quiz. I've done it before but the results were kept in my PC back in Singapore (I think). So I've decided to redo the whole darn quiz again only to find out that instead of the previous result of a slightly more male brain. I've now a perfectly balanced brain that shows equally both traits of male and female... Thus explains why I was able to do this post...

Nonetheless, here's the results:

Part 1

Angles

This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space.

Your score: 13 out of 20
Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20
Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women.

If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability.

If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men.

Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest.

Do our cave dwelling ancestors offer us any clues about why men and women score differently on this task? Find out more.

Spot the difference

This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects.

Your score: 64%
Average score for men: 39%
Average score for women: 46%

What does your score suggest?

If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory.

If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain.

If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another.

Find out more about our spatial abilities.

Part 2

Hands

You said your left thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together.

Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical.

Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes.

However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous.

Find out why right-brained people may be better fighters and artists.

Part 3

Emotions and Systems

This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise.

Empathising

Your empathy score is: 8 out of 20
Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20
Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising.

Systemising

Your systemising score is: 9 out of 20
Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20
Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising.

Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Is a possible to make yourself more empathic?

Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times. Find out more.

Eyes

This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions.

Your score: 6 out of 10
Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10
Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally.

If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions.

If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category.

Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test.

Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all. Find out more.

Part 4

Fingers

We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to:

Right Hand: 0.98
Left Hand: 1

Average ratio for men: 0.982
Average ratio for women: 0.991

It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same.

Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length.

Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. Find out what other things scientists think our ratios may tell us.

Part 5

Faces

This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity.

Your choices suggest you prefer more feminine faces.

Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones.

Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely.

A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face.

Are you surprised at what researchers think they can learn from your answers? Find out more.

Part 6

3D shapes

This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes.

Your score: 12 out of 12
Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12
Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range.

If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men.

If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain.

Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same. Find out why.

Words

This task looked at your verbal fluency.

Your score: you associated 10 word(s) with grey and you named 9 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct.

Average score for men: 11.4 words total
Average score for women: 12.4 words total

What does your result suggest?

If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words.

If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain.

Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone. Find out more .

Ultimatum

This task asked you how you would divide money.

If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25

So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average.

What does your response suggest?

Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male.

Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising.

Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power. Find out more about the role of testosterone.

Quizzes Galore!

2006-03-19T15:47:00.000+08:00

You should roughly know how bored I am by the number of online quizzes I'm doing... I was doing some of them simultaneously to the point where I didn't even know what I'm answering the questions for. I had to stop when I tried the Birth Order Predictor.... I must have submitted something that's out of character because it predicted me to be a 3rd born... Even the blood type test was wrong. I'm an A type but my inner self is a B? OH NO! Koreans believes Type B guys makes the worse boyfriends. :P

2006-03-19T15:13:00.000+08:00

You Are An Invisible Ex

You're so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex
You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind
As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!

What Type of Ex Are You?

So I'm illogical eh?

2006-03-19T15:11:00.001+08:00

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

2006-03-19T15:11:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Blood Type is Type B

You follow your own rules in life, even if you change the rules every day.
Sure, you tend to be off the wall and unpredictable, but that's what makes you lovable.
And even though you're a wild child, you have the tools to be a great success.
You are able to concentrate intently - and make the impossible possible.

You are most compatible with: B and AB

Famous Type B's: Leonardo Di Caprio and

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

2006-03-19T15:08:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Profile

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.
Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.
You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.

A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.
You are good natured and people enjoy your company.
You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

2006-03-19T15:02:00.000+08:00

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

2006-03-19T14:52:00.000+08:00

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

2006-03-19T14:46:00.000+08:00

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

2006-03-19T14:41:00.000+08:00

Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

2006-03-19T14:35:00.000+08:00

You Are 45% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.
You've been a fool for love many times - but are you the wiser for it?
Your needs should come first, both in and out of relationships.
Because you're the only one who can look out for yourself!

Are You Addicted to Love?

WHAT?!

2006-03-19T14:27:00.000+08:00

You Should Learn Chinese

Surprised? You shouldn't be - Chinese is perfect for an ambitious person like you.
You're a natural entrepreneur, and a billion people are waiting to do business with you!

What Language Should You Learn?

2006-03-19T14:25:00.000+08:00

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Fortune Cookie!

2006-03-19T14:13:00.001+08:00

Your Fortune Is

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

2006-03-19T14:08:00.000+08:00

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

2006-03-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

Your Kissing Purity Score: 43% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell...

But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

2006-03-19T13:43:00.000+08:00

Your Outrageous Name is:

Hugh Jass

Outrageous Name Generator

HAHAHA HUGE ASS!!! HOW APT!

2006-03-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

2006-03-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Stupid Technology

2006-03-17T15:53:00.000+08:00

Looking at the title, people might think that this is going to be a technophobic piece. Nope, I've got nothing against technology. In fact, I love getting new gadgets. What I really hate is gadgets that don't work like they're supposed to.

For example, I have to go thru this metal detector at the airport twice a day for 2 days a week. At first, I'd religiously empty out my pockets of metallic objects before going through the metal detector. Then one day, I'd actually forgotten to take out my cellphone. I walked thru the detector without a glitch. I didn't know what I did until I was about to walk thru it again later in the day. I was messaging on my phone while I walking towards the detector. When I remembered it wasn't beeping when I walked thru with my phone previously, I decided to be bolder and walk with the phone in my hand. I did and nothing happened. The policewoman didn't even bat an eyelid when I walked thru the detector with my phone.

I wondered if they didn't switch it on for some reason. So a couple of days later, I pulled the stunt again and waited for someone else to pass through the gate. It beeped like it should have when the other guy walked through. Its definitely not working.

Feeling cheeky, I went back on another day, this time with all kinds of metallic objects I could stuff into my pockets. Coins, phone, keys and keychain, metallic belt buckle, rings..... The metal detector was adamant. It refused to acknowledge the presence of the metals. Bloody hell! I'm starting to think that the machine has already decided that I wasn't any threat to the security.

Then one fine day.... I walked thru without the metallic objects. I was only holding on to a book. It bloody BEEPED me! I looked at the book title-"Angels and Demons"... This machine must be a muslim extremist.....

Heartache.

2006-03-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

Last night, I accidentally touched a scar in her heart. It wasn't really a scar but rather an old wound that hasn't healed completely. She has been stitching up her injury by herself, however painful it must be. She retaliated in anger and frustration when I touched the scar.

I didn't mean to harm her or to cause her distress. I have my own scars even though they are very much different from her, they were still inflictions from the past. I suppose I was lucky that I was able to push my pain away and let the wounds close up by themselves. Unfortunately, she has constant reminders of the pain.

She doesn't want any help from others while she tends to herself. I respect that because it is a strength of her's. I would still be standing right beside her when she heals herself. So that I may catch her if she stumbles, so that I may hug her if she shivers. I want so desperately to grow bigger and stronger. So that I can provide a wing over her head should she need it one day.

I want to do it not because I am noble nor because I understand her pain. I want to do it because I've willingly sacrificed my heart to her. My heart hurts because hers does.....

Time flies by

2006-02-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

Had a glimpse of the movie, Butterfly Effect, while passing a VCD shop today. Its about this guy who has lapses in memory while he was a kid and realised that he is able to go back in time to these lapses and change history. Those lapses in his life are considered the key junctions in the timeline of his life. I 've thought about this plenty of times before. In everyone's life, there are many decisions, actions in our lives that make who we are now. If we have done things differently, our lives would be very much different from where we are not. We might even be very different people right now. So I was thinking, what are some of the key points in my life?

2001 Oct onwards

I've signed on to the Army, thus marking the point where I don't have to join the rat race in society. After signing on, so much has happened. I've got to know so much more people in my years in the Army. I've guided and left my mark on many young men's life. In a sense, you could have said that I've plenty of godsons. They've brought me much joy and pain. also got to know a couple of great friends. Take Adrian for example, had I not signed on. I probably would not have known him. And if not for him, I wouldn't have gotten to know my significant other. Also, I'd probably be studying in a local University right now.

2000

I broke up with a girl I'd loved dearly. Erm...dumped would have been a better word. Because of my obession with her, the break off greatly affected me. I couldn't bring myself to concentrate on my studies, couldn't go back to TKD...(got my balls kicked the first day I went back.... I'm serious, was in hospital too) I also took up smoking, a habit I've stayed away from. Its ironic how I resorted to doing something that I hated for such a long time. But then, I hated myself back then so it wasn't a big deal that two of my most hatred are together. Bad things seems to keep coming together. I had lost a good friend to a tragic accident later. A maternal uncle followed shortly afterwards, he was beaten to death. Apparently had something to do with drugs... Maternal grandma died from stroke and Granddad left soon after. I was simply devastated that year. It almost seemed like the world was ending... I never got the chance to tell them that I loved and cherish them. Told myself not to hold back my feelings and cherish everyone as if i'd never have the chance again. If all these hadn't happened, I'd probably have gotten better results for my 'A' levels and signing on won't even be in my mind.

Year 1998

This is the year when I was playing around and breaking hearts. I had more girlfriends than I could have handled. As a result, I failed my promotion exams that year. Should have known better than to bite more than I could chew. I simply went mad with the excitement of having to juggle simultaneous relationships. I'd also broke the heart of a girl who loved me deeply. She was my first girlfriend and yet I was able to cause her pain again and again. I would kick my own ass if I could go back in time....

Year 1996

Was getting ready to prepare for my 'O' levels.... Paternal granny left us. She had always been there and I never knew how much she meant to me. Kept crying myself to sleep for the first few weeks. Never really recovered so I took up Tae Kwon Do and devoted myself to the study of self defence....somemore exerting my body numbed my mind since I knew I didn't do well for my exams. Should have pushed those negative energy to something more constructive like burying myself in books....

Year 1993

Got myself enrolled into Hua Yi Secondary when I had the chance to get in Clementi Secondary. May not seem like much difference but it was not as rough as Hua Yi. I probably would have been a better student since Hua Yi was really a gangsters' paradise....

(Will continue when there's time....)

Final Destination 3

2006-02-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

Haven't watched the movie but I'm an avid fan to the previous 2 installations. The idea of Death playing cat and mouse with humans was novel and kinda endearing in a sense. Why is it endearing? Well, the main reason is because Death himself is a serious old guy who never thinks much about games. He's really boring if Life don't tease him now and then. I wouldn't say that its fun to hang around Life also... You know how people keeps complaining that Life's a bitch? Well, she says thank you everytime someone utters that comment.

Actually, if there were really games being involved. Its probably Life playing tricks. If you ask me, it wasn't death playing cat and mouse with the victims in the movie. It was Life yanking them away after a brief touch from Death. Sounds like a brat? Its not like Death spanks her....

We all live in a gigantic trash can...

2006-02-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered why babies cry after they are born? I dunno about the others but I know that I cried because I didn't want to come into this world. Hell, I would have held my breath until I turned blue....if only the darn doctor didn't smack my butt...

Why didn't I want to be in this world? Take a good look around you. Read the news! The planet that we are on is such a bleak place because of us humans. People are pissed with each other. Cartoons that are insulting, police who do funny things, politicians playing games with each other, girls getting molested in public places, 'friends' distributing your private video....

There comes a time when you have to wonder if its safe to trust anyone to do the right thing anymore. Hell, I don't even trust myself. I have done my share of stupid and inconsiderate things before. I'm not a saint and the 'sins' I've done is enough to last me a couple of lifetimes. No, I'm not proud of them but at least I know what I've done isn't right and I'm not willing to repeat my mistakes again. But I digress; ever since childhood, Ive known that the world is one ugly place. I knew that what I've seen was only the sugar topping disguising the decaying mass underneath.

We have to admit the fact that we are on this world together and learn to live with each other. We have to accept each other's difference or choose to perish by killing each other. You know how those air heads keep saying world peace in beauty pageants? Well, it would be nice if REAL world peace really exist. Where people genuinely care for each other, and everyone gets along with harmony. Its the only way we can really progress as a species. Either that or we can just sit along each other whacking one another on the head while waiting for that big comet to come colliding into our precious home.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LEARN TO GROW UP!

War Strategy

2006-02-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

I heard this quote before " Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer". However at this particular phase of my life, I can't help but feel alone in a field full of foes. Allies aren't close at hand so there is no one to watch my back. Every step I take has to be carefully measured. Every plan I make needs to have its contingency.

Stuck on an island in the midst of dangerous waters, one cannot help but feel hopeless at times. Yet, I know that if I were to give up, the only fate that is waiting for me will be death. There is no time to learn how to survive. Primal instincts have to take over logical thinking more often than not. To survive is my only priority now.

Those who are dear to me can't help me in this battle. The only thing that is making go on is the knowledge that on the day of my triumph, I shall bask in the glory that is their presence. Just let me know that you'll give me your emotional and spiritual support. This is a stage I must go true alone, this battle is mine and mine alone.

What doesn't kills me, maketh me stronger.

放一颗心

2006-02-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你儘管放心接受　這樣溫柔和我
我不怕任何結果　珍惜這一刻
就算是有一天　　你突然想走

你並不需要擔心太多　怕你不夠了解我
只要記住　無愛不癡　無愛不狂　就夠
愛從來不怕付出太多　也從不保留
為了你我什麼都做　看著你是種享受　擁有你更是感動

放一顆心留在你的身邊　每次離去陪你入眠
你千萬記住有我在耳邊　說愛你
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你要乖乖的　等著我回來

愛從來不怕付出太多　也從不保留
為了你我什麼都做　看著你是種享受　擁有你更是感動

放一顆心留在你的身邊　每次離去陪你入眠
你千萬記住有我在耳邊　說愛你
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你儘管放心接受　這樣溫柔和我
別怕我愛的太多　愛你我很快樂
你要乖乖的　等著我回來
你要乖乖的　等著我回來

He doesn't know as much as he claim he does...

2006-02-16T18:32:00.000+08:00

Posting a conversation with iGod. 'He' pretends to be the real McCoy however....not a good one.

Me:
Hi, it's me.
God:
Hi there Xed. Hello, Xed, nice to see you again.
Me:
I've got a question for you.
God:
How did you get it What is it ?
Me:
Do you know Death?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Err...He's also known as the Grim Reaper. Ring any bells for you?
God:
Um. I get it. Myself s also known as the Grim Reaper. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What? You wear dresses?
God:
Didn't you understand it? Do you mind if I tell other people: Xed said I wear dresses.
Me:
You said it before I did.
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
'it' refers to you saying that you wear dresses.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
That a side. You're saying you're the Grim Reaper?
God:
" Oh I get it." a side ? Does that make sense? Yes I am the one and only Grim Reaper.
Me:
I didn't know that you moonlight...
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Isn't that against religion or something?
God:
Or something. " So I taught you something new."? Is it against religion?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Do you have any idea what you're talking about?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
Yes, you understand me but do you understand yourself?
God:
Next question? Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
Of course I don't understand you! You're not making any sense...
God:
I hear you. Which part are you confused about? Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
If God don't make sense, I suppose religion doesn't either.
God:
It goes without saying. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
This conversation is going to cause some uproar...
God:
I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
You're a cruel cruel being...
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cruel cruel being? Only when it matters.
Me:
Have you always been like that?
God:
No I don't think I have been like that. Have you?
Me:
No...about now I'm just simply confused.
God:
Are you serious? Oh yeah, we were talking about now you are just simply confused.
Me:
There you go again. You're speaking gibberish.
God:
Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan. Thanks for telling me that I am speaking gibberish.
Me:
Its not supposed to be a complement...
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Of course its negative! And don't correct my Grammar. Only one person is allowed to do that....
God:
Hey. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". this conversation is negative? It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns. One what?
Me:
Not only am I confused now but I'm inching towards insanity just by talking to you...
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
What what?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
Yes, of course it is....
God:
And? Yeah that's right. It is, eh?
Me:
You never give any straight answers, do you?
God:
No I sometimes give any straight answers do me.
Me:
You've got some bad grammar yourself.
God:
What would you consider good grammar myself?
Me:
I suppose I know now what stopped me from going to church...
God:
You believe that? How do you know? Why now? That's a good question.
Me:
Why now? Because until now, I never knew that God was an imbecile.

*'God' has not been able to reply to me after that comment.... *

I wasn't really talking to God... its just a dumb bot claiming to be one.... Check him out at this link.

I went for 'bang bang' with my girlfriend.

2006-02-15T20:50:00.000+08:00

Yep, I was 'bang-ing' with my girlfriend today. She's always very vocal when she does all the 'bang-ing' though. Yar lah, I went shooting with my rifle today. What you mean its commonly referred to as 'wife' instead of girlfriend? Well, in my opinion, the rifle is more like a girlfriend than a wife. And I have very good reasons too.

Here's the top ten reasons why your rifle is your girlfriend and not your wife. (Rifle will be referred to as 'she' or 'her' henceforth)

10. She throws tantrums when you least expect it.

9. The relationship is over whenever you mistreat her i.e, you're probably dead after...

8. She doesn't live with you as much as you may want her to...

7. You'll have to go thru her 'guardian' before you can go out with her.

6. She has a curfew and absolutely has to go back 'home'.

5. Her 'guardian' will screw you over for bring her back late or if she looks 'spent' (not clean lah) after a particular date.

4. You 'dump' her and get a new girl whenever you go to a new unit.

3. You have the illusion that you're her first guy. (She's probably seen a lot more action with more guys than you think.)

2. You have no qualms about going out with her 'sisters'

And finally........

1. She doesn't cook you dinner, wash and iron your clothes and simply refuses to have your baby!

Catagories

2006-02-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

I skipped lunch today. No, I'm not going on a diet. I just deemed that the food is totally inedible, well, at least not fit for human consumption.

we have 4 chefs in the cookhouse and I'm able to catagorise them into 3 kinds of chefs.

1. The Fit Chef
2. The Average Chef
and lastly 3. The Fat Chef...

The Fat Chef is the worse of all. Average chefs give you greasy food-basically food that gleams under the light. Not very tasty but you can swallow the food without any difficulties. Fat chef (luckily we only have one fat chef) cooks flavoured oils, not food. For example, there are 3 dishes. Dish 1 will be red coloured oil littered with some curry and bits of fish. Dish 2 will be black coloured oil topped sparingly with braised chicken parts... Dish 3 will be yellow coloured oil with vegetables that look like they barely survived a plague. How to eat like that?!

Fit chef is not so bad sometimes but because he is fit, his food is fit also. U will find that the taste is barely there because they don't like excessive salt or other fatty condiments. Just the other day, we're supposed to have Pita bread, sardines and egg mayonaise for breakfast. Knowing that the Fit chef is on duty, I wondered how the egg mayonaise will turn out. Well, it turned out the exact you would expect it to. FIT! No mayonaise at all! He bloody made scrambled eggs and there was almost no trace of oil! Well, I guess beggars can't be choosers. I don't want to go to the canteen also. Everything is deep fried or has gone through a grease shower before being served. Impossible to lose weight. I' not a car ok. I know in Brunei, petrol costs cheaper than water but this is exaggerating. I'm not a car ok. I don't need oil to move...

Worst Crimes

2006-02-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

Now that I've finally gotten the mucus from my brain, I suppose I should just do a double whammy while I still can.

Was reading the Straits Times on last Friday(3rd Feb) and saw on the front page that a serial sex offender is sentenced to 20 years jail and 24 strokes. I am pissed, let it be known. I ~~don't like~~ absolutely hate to see sex offences committed. No, I'm not going to do another XX and condemn certain races. I am in fact going to condemn these 'men'. In fact, they don't even deserve to be catergorised as men. Worse than animals they are, vile and putrid creatures scraped off from the bottoms of single cell organisms. Sex offenders shouldn't be caned or jailed. Don't waste tax payers money. Skin them alive and castrate them. Those who committed rape should get something extra. Preferbly a thorned 3 foot dildo with a 5 inch girth up their anus... better yet, how about a durian up their penis shafts?...................

I may be going overboard here but I don't think my anger is unjustified. If you've got a fucking libido to quench, go pay some money to a whore and get it done with! No money? Go wank yourself you muthaf*ckin piece of d*ckless maggot crawling in pile of sh*t. Why don't u try and see if you can stick it up yourself even?

I mean just read the article! That poor 20 yr old girl was sodomised.....TWICE!!! And it wasn't even in the middle of the night. It was broad daylight! The girl wasn't even scantily clad! She was returning home!

Most friends of mine would know that I don't hold grudges or have strong prejudice against anything. However, my heart really go out to those victims. Most of them don't even deserve it. Having a leisurely stroll in your own neighbourhood would never be the same again. You'd always look behind your back for that shadow of the assailant who isn't there. The thinking that your body is tainted by that horrible experience. Marked so deeply, no amount of washing is ever enough. These are a few conditions a girl goes through after she has been

Some might argue alot of these girl recover from the trauma eventually but so what? The damage is already done. No matter how much healing has occured, the scar can never be completely forgotten.

So what's worse than sex offenders? Wife beaters.....'nuff said.

(I reread what I wrote. The whole thing is a mess. I suppose anger really affected my mind. Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering...siao siao liao)

Blog blocked

2006-02-08T19:05:00.000+08:00

Been having blogger's block again. Its not that I couldn't find anything interesting to blog about but rather forgetting about what I want to blog about. I'd come across things that triggered some opinions but once I sit in front of my laptop, I feel like the village idiot.

Now that I've got too much time on my hands, I suppose the words will start to trickle and eventually flow out of me. Nonetheless, the last inspiration I got was from mooiness. It's regarding those comic that originally was printed in the Danish Newspaper. anyway the whole thing blew out of proportions when neighbouring countries re-printed them. Then some Muslims got infuriated and decided to retaliate with violence by burning the relevant embassies and flags. So people started talking about the right to freedom of speech and others began to rattle on about the responsibilities behind such a right. Both are true in their own right and wrong in their actions. Let's think of this in an analogy.

Kid A for no apparent reason decides to tease Kid B about his father's looks. Kid B naturally got angry and decided to get even. He decided that he would cut up Kid A's schoolbag and burn his homework.

If you think of this carefully, the analogy is almost the exact replica of what happened.

1. Kid A provoked Kid B for no good reason but he has a right to express how he feels about B's dad.
2. Kid B took 'revenge' because he loved his father and refused to accept insults of any kind.
3. These are what you would expect kids to do since they wouldn't know any better.

Normally, both kids will be punished if this scenario happened in school. But what if they're grown ups with the mind of children?

To sum it up, I think humans still don't know how to live with each other. Its almost as if we crave for conflict with each other. A boy will be back on his old tricks again the moment he forgets the pain a cane can inflict on him. So will people be looking for trouble once they've been at peace for so long. So unless someone makes the two kids apologise to each other and shake hands, I supposed there may be no end to it.

Melancholia

2006-01-23T11:34:00.000+08:00

I've not been able to sleep well for the past two days. Probably only managed to clock 2-3 hours of sleep over the last 50hours. I've become a walking zombie, I don't want to care about what's happening around me. I barely talkto people unless neccessary. I don't want to talk to them, I don't know what to say to them. I've learnt tolock so much inside of me that I don't even know what is underneath anymore. I want to scream out, tear and slash at whatever stands before me. I can't do them because I still very much have control over myself. I'm not a raving lunatic as yet.I don't know how long more I'll last. Its getting harder and harder to concentrate in my work. I want to go back to my room and cry shamelessly to myself. I need salvation. I want to be brave and continue standing on my two feet but I'm losing my strength and my vision is getting blur. Every heatbeat takes effort. My blood thickens, making the heart heavier and labour harder. I'm on the verge of tearing out the beating muscle and squash it with my bare hands. I supposed I'm filled to the brim but not quite overflowing. I bought a pack of cigarettes but I'm not smoking them. I need my good friend now but I've already abandoned him for so long. I doubt that he'll be able to satisfy me anymore. It'll be worse if I go back... I'll sink into depression knowing that I'm chaining myself back to him after having regained my freedom. I want to slash my flesh to see if my body is really as numb as it feels. I won't do it because I know its dumb. Ignore me because I don't want you to be affected or even infected by me. DON't ignore me, I need attention more desperately than ever before. I want to scream expel the putrid air in my lungs until I turn blue and drop dead from suffocation. I don't want to die but life seems so fragile right now. I don't know what I'm thinking, my mind is a mess. I need a rest. I'm tired........................................................................................................

Interesting Pics in Brunei!

2006-01-15T19:46:00.000+08:00

Fwah! The Cha Siew Pao is almost as large as my hand!

Who in the world would pay 6k for a bloody lighter?! Its been in the showcase since I've arrived here 4 months ago... Obviously no one would buy it...
How about a 3.5k pen? Looks exquisite, doesn't it? Maybe the ink lasts a lifetime? Yeah right...this sucker probably won't last more than 3 months...

恋爱i n g !!!

2006-01-15T19:26:00.000+08:00

陪你熬夜聊天到爆肝也没关系

陪你逛街逛成扁平足也没关系

超感谢你让我重生整个o r z

让我重新认识 love

(l o v e! l o v e!)

恋爱i n g happy i n g

心情就像是坐上一台喷射机

恋爱i n g 改变 i n g

改变了黄昏黎明

有你都心跳到不行

你是空气但是好闻胜过了空气

你是阳光但是却能照进半夜里

水能载舟也能煮粥喂饱了生命

你就是维他命l o v e

(l o v e! l o v e!)

恋爱i n g happy i n g

心情就像是坐上一台喷射机

恋爱i n g 改变 i n g

改变了黄昏黎明

有你都心跳到不行

未来某年某月某日某时某分某秒

某人某地某种永远的心情

不会忘记此刻l o v e

(l o v e! l o v e! l o v e! l o v e!)

恋爱i n g happy i n g

心情就像是坐上一台喷射机

恋爱i n g 改变 i n g

改变了黄昏黎明

有你都心跳到不行

黄昏黎明整个到恋爱i n g

With great powers, comes great responsibility.

2006-01-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

After observing the online saga between a few girls, the 'quote' from Spiderman came to me again. I know that it has been a little over-used (its starting to become a little rancid as well) but it rings true time and again. With great power comes great responsibility! Believe it or not. Popularity endows one with a certain power over the masses. That is why public figures are very careful of what they say or do.

Don't we all remember what happened to Fann Wong when she received her first award? She innocently (maybe it was a smug remark... come to think of it, might have been a brainless remark) proclaimed that now that she's got the award, she doesn't know what to aim for the next year. She was flamed left, right, centre, upside-down,rightside-up, inside-out and outside-in for that comment.

So, as much as BM didn't want to associate herself with the other three girls or that XX didn't want to hang around with 'foreign talents'. We can't really say who's wrong and who's right. Both are expressing their own opinions. Yet, the words they use have such an effect that they got people to hate them, insult them and even sign petitions to 'boycott' them!

I suppose, no one really know what kind of powers they possess until they see the backlash these powers can bring. Like a double sided blade, power can strengthen you or bring you to your knees.

The evil Chinese supermarket owners!

2006-01-14T15:20:00.000+08:00

Look at the two cans of Pringles potato chips. The one on the left boasts of an extra 40gms free. But yet, the price shows that the 'freebie' costs $2.50 while the original packaging is a mere $1.90.

Upon closer inspection, one will realise that the extra 40gms really don't exist. Its just a measly 9gms more than the original packaging. So for that extra 9gms, consumers need to fork out 60cents! So who in his/her right mind would go for that 'special offer'? U'd only end up paying more fore less. Unfortunately, I can see the ppl here clearing the stocks like hotcakes.

Death's Revisit

2006-01-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

Yep, my ol' friend came to me again this afternoon. I had to climb to the roof of my building this afternoon to fix a broken antennae. It wasn't really that high, just roughly about 3-4 metres off the ground. The ladder I got was only 2 metres tall, standing on the top of the ladder, I had to tip toe to reach the edge and do a chin up to yank myself up. The moment I got unto the roof, I felt his presence. Standing there on my own, I didn't feel the usual high I got from heights. My heart started thumping harder than usual. I wondered if my friend has finally come to claim me. Working under the sweltering sun, I could only feel him watching me intently, like a small child with an overpowering sense of curiousity.

Everytime I got close to the edge, I felt his touch. I pondered if he was trying to hold me back or waiting for the right moment to push me over. The sensation of this delicate contact kept distracting me from my work. Thoughts rushed into my mind, thoughts of what would happen should my life ended abruptly at that moment. I kept thinking of the people who are close to me.

I wondered if I should make someone else the benefactor of one of my insurance plans. Sure the money won't bring me back but it would at least give a new lease of life to her. If she were right there with me at the moment, I'd definitely get an earful from her. She'd told me to banish those insane thoughts out of my head. It was then that I managed to put my focus back on the work I needed to do.

Finally, after almost 2 hours of meddling with cables and ropes, I made my way down to the ground. Once my feet were on solid ground, I sat down immediately. Heaving a sigh of relief, I looked at my shaking hands and fingers. They were scraped quite badly from the rough texture of the nylon ropes.

"Do you feel better now?" Death asked.

A look of confusion took over my face.

"I've made you feel like she was by your side, didn't I?"

Death was right, I did feel as if she was beside me while I tended to the repairs. I could feel her worrying about my safety and wanting me to concentrate on what I was doing.

"Thanks pal, that's was nice of you"

And I felt him leave as sudden as his arrival had been. At that moment, the sun decided not to be harsh on me and hid partially behind a piece of idle cloud. Feeling the warm rays splashing on my face, I smiled to myself. It is good to be alive.

The lion and the hyenas

2006-01-04T17:03:00.000+08:00

From my observation of the new personnels in my camp, I can safely conclude that my work place has become a magnet for the scum of the force. These people complicate my work and make it harder to accomplish my assignments. They fixate themselves over the tiny details and refuse to see the bigger picture. They are too preoccupied with themselves and do not see the inconvenience they've caused to others. There are times I simply wonder how these people survived annihilation when the dinosaurs didn't.

My workload isn't getting any lighter, on the contrary, it has increased. That shouldn't be happening. I'm still holding the same appointment as 3 months ago. If I'm required to cover some tasks of these morons, why don't these imbeciles relinquish surrender portions of their salaries to me as well?

They're probably the reason for my inability to sleep at night too. I suffocate from the thought that I have to continually have association with them. Its not like I can get rid of them after work, these retards are practically neighbours to me.

Try and strangle me if you must but trust me when I say this, " I will presevere and I shall prevail"

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

2005-12-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance.

Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer.

Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

How can your economy thrive when your people don't support?

2005-12-14T19:33:00.000+08:00

Was buying an electrical flask for boiling water today. First thing I did was head straight for the local brand, "Aifa". As the local brand, it should be cheaper than the imported ones. Was checking out the various design and size since I didn't need something huge. So I found the smallest one on display. Its a 1 litre heater with a huge colourful logo on it. " Designed in Singapore". Fwah, of course must support Singapore mah.
So I chose a nice blue coloured one and brought it to the counter to pay. There was this Auntie in front of me buying an electrical flask too. I squinted my eyes to look at the features on her box (eyes small....must squint to increase eye power. Machiam like Superman when he wants to activate his heat rays or x-ray vision....). I realised that her's was a 1.8 litre flask and its the small price! Wah, how can? Being a Singapore, must go for cheap and good. Why settle for something less when you can get a better one at the same price?
Tak Boleh! So I took my box and trotted back to the electical appliances section to look for the 'Cornell" flask. The moment I got back to that section, a young man behind a counter stopped me and told me he had to test the flask for me. He said that the "Aifa" model gives me 3 months warranty so he has to test it before my purchase. I handed him the box and was about to tell him that I didn't want to buy it anyway but he asked me something else. "would prefer to get the 'Cornell' brand? Its has a one year warranty and it holds 1.8 litre."
Immediately I could hear a little voice in my head screaming," To hell with the local brand! Get the imported one! If the locals don't support 'Aifa', why should I?"

So I bought the same priced "Cornell" with a longer warranty and larger capacity. But its purple in colour...(the only colour manufactured... it does not reflect anything about my sex life!)

My Born Destiny

2005-11-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: October 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.
A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.
You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you.
You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.

Your strength: Your devotion

Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness

Your power color: Lilac

Your power symbol: Heart

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

WakeBoarding on a Sunday Morning

2005-11-28T14:17:00.000+08:00

Anvory's Wedding

2005-11-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

Forgive me if my style of writing is a little wierd here. Just finished reading Rockson's blog so kena 'tainted' by him.

Come back from Brunei for a short break only kena pink bomb liao. How can like that? I Come ou for gathering can liao but noo... special one. Wedding dinner! Fwah biang. Lucky Anvory has been my friend for more than a decade ah. If not I sure fly her a C130 one. Ok, the wedding not very big scale like Fanelle's but can see the prep also not anyhow one. Looks like a lot of hardwork involved, don't like... Nonetheless, its really nice to see everyone else again. Its been months since I last saw them. Aiyah, talk so much also no use. Show some photos better rite? A picture is worth more than a thousand words. So post a couple of pics like blogging a few pages liao. NAH!

Insanity again.

2005-11-07T20:01:00.000+08:00

I was reading my own entry of soldier's insanity and realised that it wasn't just any story that popped into my head. In very much sense, I was both soldiers depicted in the story. The injured private was the old self. Fatelly wounded and wanting death to be swift. The other soldier was the new me, I have to keep telling myself to stand tall and survive. Despite everything that's been thrown at me, I wll not back down. Though I feel remorse for the death of my old self, there is no time for mourning. The battle goes on and I have to fight my demons alone.

Someone asked me before, "Why put in so much effort? Why not take the easy way out?" Let me now reply that with more questions.

"There are two man, one climbs the Mount Everest while the other climbs Bukit Timah Hill. Who would have a greater sense of achievement? Who would have greater pride? Who is the stronger man?"

Naturally, people would think that the man who has climbed Everest the better man. That is why I refuse to walk the easy path anymore. I've been putting off things, escaping reality, avoiding conflict. I want to toughen myelf up. I want to cherish what I have more than ever. Don't ask me why am I taking the harder route anymore. Just watch while I stand at the peak of Everest with proud tears in my eyes. Looking at the beauty of the Earth from that vantage point, I'll be able to tell you that its all worth it.

The Sultan and I.

2005-11-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

The camp made arrangements for any camp personnel for a visit at the Brunei Royal Palace today and tomorrow. Since I won't be able to make it tomorrow, I had to go today. But little old me had to be a pig today and oversleep... end up the 'bus' had to wait for me... so malu... anyway, it didn't make much difference since there was so many people at the Istana. The palace wasn't as glam as I thought it would be. Unlike the Singapore Istana which is full of Colonial flavour, the Brunei Istana is kinda modern and yet instills Muslim architecture. So it looks kinda like a science entre cum stadium cum mosque... I can't really put my finger on it. One thing for sure. the place is huge. I think the compound alone is lareger than Singapore's by at least twice.

There were tons of people at the gates when we arrived. We took a short stroll into the security screening area so as to see the landscaping of the palace. Couldn't see much because we're on the wrong side of the road. Once we cleared the security, I found myself at the start of a buffet queue. Not that I wanted to eat but apparently, the Sultan was generous to offer food for the people oming to visit him. Its obvious that it'll be a long wait before getting to shake his hand so the food was a very considerate thought. After eating, I immediately joined in the queue again to see the Sultan. It took me 90 mins of winding in and out of buildings before meeting His Royal Highness. I took the opportunity to take some pictures of the palace. There was one particular hall I liked. It look a little like a chapel from the inside. I thought I saw balloons floating at the ceiling when I walked it but realised that they were glass structures. They refracted the lights and looked almost like huge and delicate chandelier.

When I finally got to the last door, I started to get nervous. I wondered how I should act in front of royalty and if I would offend him and get thrown into some secret dungeon below the palace. Fortunately, the meeting lasted for a few seconds. I shook HRM and bowed to him and was ushered off to shake hands with his deligates. Included in the royal deligates are his brother as well as the crown prince of Brunei. 90 mins of agonizing waiting, 30 seconds of anxiety and anticipation and finally 10 seconds of receiving royal blessings. Not that I'm complaining about anything; I am in no position to complain. I had comfy seats offered to me at certain parts of the wait but HM and the royal delegates where standing for a few hours just to shake hands with the people. I couldn't take pictures of the Sultan because cameras weren't allowed into the room where he was. Wouldn't it be nice to hang a picture of me shaking hands with the Sultan of Brunei in my room for keepsake? Oh shit...I forgot to pluck a leg hair off the crown prince for Fion... Sorry girl, I didn't have the chance anyway. Unless you want to see me behind bars for a few decades over a single strand of hair...

Bits and Pieces of Life and Death

2005-11-04T19:35:00.000+08:00

Having close brush with death just last week, I felt that Death was just lurking around the corner just to give me signs that he still exists. So I decided to pay him a visit during the weekends. While chatting with him, I saw a journal on his desk. It was his personal diary of his first few years with Life. With his permission, I've extracted parts of his autobiography and posted it to my blog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For as long as I could remember, I was alone. There was nothing, I am nothing. Only I existed. However, the only feelings I had didn't include loneliness. No... in fact I didn't even have have inkling of the idea of what loneliness is. All I felt was emptiness and the hollow inside of me. He was invisible when he came to me. I couldn't see him for what he was, I could only feel his presence. I could feel that he was doing something but I wasn't sure what. I wasn't fearful of him. Fear was not an emotion I was acquainted with. Like a gust of wind, time started flowing and light seared my eyes for the first time. When I opened my eyes again, I couldn't see him. Instead, I saw her. It was a 'she' all along. She was the only one I had ever seen and in my heart I knew that she'd be the most beautiful in the time to come. So as I set my eyes on her at the beginning of time, my heart felt a flood of emotions I've never encountered before. Feelings so foreign raided my heart, leaving me breathless and my head dizzy. I felt overwhelmed by joy and fear at the same time. Joy for all the time I'll be spending with her. Fear for the day that I'll lose her.

Without a word, she smiled at me as she stepped towards me and held me in an embrace. Warmth filled me as I held her too in my arms. At that moment, I realised that the hollowness I had inside of me was vanquished by her. Gleefully, she squirmed out of the hug after some time and began meddling with her newfound powers. She started with easy things like dust and rocks As she got better and better at creating, she began creating stars and planets then eventually star systems and galaxies. The void that I was, is no longer empty. We fitted together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Different in our own right and yet perfect for each other...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eons passed and Life (she made various names for herself and me) has already made boundless creations. She was happy from creating and so was I from watching her. I discovered my abilities purely by serendipity. I was admiring a red star that she had made a few million years before. She was particularly fond of the burning star and I wanted to have a closer look at it. Unfortunately, at the instant of my touch. The star exploded into a supernova. Trying to undo the damage, I tried to find out the cause of the sudden change. Touching the sun again only made it implode into a blackhole. She saw the whole thing and smiled at me. I was surprised at her reaction. It was her favourite and I've caused its death. She should be scowling at me instead of smiling. Reading my mind from my confused expression at her, she told me with a girlish giggle that she had grown tired of that old thing. Having discovered that I had the faculty to bring forth destruction and death with the merest of contact however, I wasn't curious at how extensive my powers were. I knew for sure that my powers matched those of Life. If my abilities were indeed far greater than hers, there was no need for me to prove it. We are equals, there isn't any need to show who's superior.

Soon enough, I learnt to massacre her 'artwork' adroitly. She was running out of space and the discovery of what I can do came at an appropriate time. There were certain things she would wanted me to keep my hands off until she wants to get rid off. She assured me that nothing she created shall be for eternity. Only the love that we have for each other shall last for eternity and beyond the even the death of time.

Personality test yet again,...

2005-11-04T18:20:00.000+08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot: rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful

牛郎与织女

2005-11-04T15:02:00.000+08:00

努郎与织女等候了一年，又是到了相遇的时候。
牛郎兴奋地奔向织女，可是织女看起来不是很高兴。
牛郎感到奇怪，于是问了织女：“怎么啦，为什么你皱着眉头？”
织女伤心地看着牛郎，“我们还是别再见面好了，我再也受不了了。每当见了一次面，我就的忍受一年的苦。“
牛郎温心的回答：“傻瓜，是一时的幸福带来一年回忆的时间。如果连这一时的机会你肯放弃的话，就会是永恒的空白。“

Soldier's Insanity

2005-10-26T16:31:00.000+08:00

The rain pelted down on the earth, drenching everything under its merciless assault. I can’t differentiate the sounds of what’s man-made or nature. The gunshots, ricochet of bullets hid behind the splattering of the water droplets. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light…

“BOOM”

Was that thunder? No, I thought to myself. The trees don’t shiver in fear when thunder rolls. It was an explosion… and it was close. Taking aim at a moving shadow, I held my breath and squeezed the trigger. The rifle recoiled against my shoulder as it shot off a round and reloaded itself. Let the sun set faster please. The longer the twilight last, the more I see of my enemies’ faces. From behind what was a mini bus before it got wrecked from an air strike, another trooper ran menacingly towards my position. I saw his features before the inevitable happened. A dozen ghostly faces bearing similarities to the original appeared as a bullet penetrated his skull from the forehead and ended the last sprint in his life. Damn it! I cursed under my breath while returning to my cover. The faces of the ghosts belonged to the dead soldier’s family. My imagination goes into overdrive, creating faces that bore features to the one I’m about to kill. Guilt feels my wretched heart with every life I take. I fight for my loved ones and so do my enemies. I held my rifle close to my chest while I half dragged a young private behind. The poor kid’s shaken up badly. He was shot in the leg. A ghastly wound bleeding profusely exposing a splintered femur bone. No screams… am I dragging a hopeless corpse? He’s still panting. The adrenaline rushing into his brain must have shut out the pain from his brain. It won’t last long... I found a wall that’s still standing under the barrage of war. Without second thoughts, I pushed him behind the safety of the wall and took aim for any enemy soldiers in our trail.

“Ma….mummy…” came a soft whimpering. Looking back at the wounded soldier behind me, I lowered my rifle. He started frantically scratching against his left breast pocket. He was trying to pull out his issued bandage; obviously the numbness is ebbing away from his consciousness. Unbuttoning his pocket, I took out the packed bandage and ripped away the covers from the white gauze. Choking back his tears, the soldier trembled as I applied pressure on his wound to stop the bleeding. It was a futile as using cotton wool to plug a running tap. Thick red liquid gushed out of the gruesome cavity soaking the bandage as most immediately. “Medic!” I shouted over the din.

The soldier was sobbing uncontrollably as he pulled out my side arm and shoved the barrel into his mouth. I was too late when I turned my attention back to him. Blood smeared my face as a gaping hole appeared at the back of his head. “Perfect waste of ammo” I spat. I emptied the dead kid’s webbing of remaining ammunitions and ordinance before re-embarking on my guilt trip. I don’t want my kid to go through war. I don’t want my loved ones to live with angst and heartache. I have to eliminate any threats to that and survive. With renewed vigor and a fresh magazine, I charged straight for the front line.

Saturday Blog

2005-10-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

Its the weekends again. Just one more month to go before my return to Singapore. Never thought I'd say this but I do miss everyone. I miss the activities that I can do in Singapore like going for wakeboarding and sing Karaoke (the clean kind...) Not that I didn't cherish Singapore but I just didn't realise that I'm really that fortunate to be living in Singapore. The other thing I hate about working in Brunei is having to deal with the locals. Language barrier is one thing. I think I'll be taking Bahasa lessons soon. The country's system really needs to get some getting used to. I suppose the difference is because Brunei is under patriach sovereignity. The Sultan gives kids free education and a monthly allowance of 100 bucks for stationary! Being born in the correct family can do a lot of good for your life in Brunei. In Singapore, it doesn't really matter if you have poor parents. If you put enough effort into it, you can still make a mark for yourself.

Enough about Brunei, my stay here will be long so I'll have plenty of chances to make the comparions. Just yesterday, (was a public holiday in Brunei) I had to work because there was a briefing for the personnel in RSAF. I re-acquainted myself with the typical singaporean speech. I've noticed before while I was an instructor in Signal Institute that quite a number of Singaporeans punctuated their sentences with Oks and Ks. If I got a dollar from every ok I hear during these 'lectures' I won't even have to buy Toto to become a millionare. I'm not kidding here. I've actually done the counting during one of these speechs before (I was bored...) An hour's worth of 'public speaking' would be decorated with at least 100-200 Oks and Ks. Imagine earning a hundred bucks just for listening to people say oks for and hour.

(P.S: Noticed how my English standard have deteriorated? I've been listening and conversing in broken English regularly for a month... I hope my spelling is still intact...)

New Laptop

2005-10-15T18:29:00.000+08:00

Alright, I've finally gotten my hands on a new laptop. This little baby cost me a bomb. Literally blowing my pay away. At least with Trevor (Acer Travelmate... so call it Trevor) around, I don't have to stay in the office to do mundane paper work. Just copy over from my office computer and off I go back into my bunk. Besides, my PC has been throwing tantrums like a spoilt kid. She must have known that I'm going to get a laptop and just wants to grab as much attention while she can.

Anyway, Trev is my new asociate in blogging. I don't have to borrow laptops or wait for a computer terminal with internet connection anymore. At least every weekend I'll get to bring Trev out to a cafe or foodcourt with free wireless broadband and I'll be able to get online. Won't be so convenient in camp though as I still need a telephone line to dial up. Can't you believe it? I have to use 56k dial up here and it costs 1 ringgit per hour! What the economy needs is some competition. The service isn't impressive and the price tag is exorbitant.

Nonetheless, I'll be saving some money on entertainment as well. I don't need to buy a TV or DVD player or PS or XBOX etc... A laptop is almost like an all in one machine. I can play DVDs, make phone calls play games, download books to read.

Ok, that's all for this week.

Quiz again

2005-10-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

So Fifi has started the ball rolling so I might as well keep it going on. Heh heh.

http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=dZlOiwXqSQwukHDd&

RE: Stuck in my Head

2005-10-05T16:02:00.000+08:00

Was checking my blog comments for my previous postings and realised..... OEI! NO BODY SO MUCH EVEN OFFERED TO HOLD MY HAND! MY HAND GOK DIO SAI AH? NOT LIKE YOUR HAND WILL ROT AND FALL OFF AFTER HOLDING MINE. DON'T WANT TO HOLD ALSO BLUFF ME WITH SOME EXCUSE LAH.

I'm go SOC liao. Its not standard obstacle course....its sulk one corner.

Rantings from an idle man.

2005-10-05T14:56:00.000+08:00

I'm bored bored bored bored. Today's a public holiday cos its the first day of Ramadan or the fasting month for the Muslims. So different from Singapore. Its usually a quiet affair and most of the ignorant will only know about Ramadan after its over. Not that they're making a big hoo haa about it here though. Usually on Sundays and public holidays, there are plenty of shops that won't open for business. Its almost like they don't need the business or the weekend crowds.

Which brings me to another issue. The crowds usually appear at the end of the months around the 20th to 30th or 31st. What happens to the crowds after that? They go low on cash, so they try not to come out altogether. At least that's what I'm told. Imagine a whole nation that goes shopping around the same time and stay home around the same time. So different from back home sia... In Singapore its usually crowded or extremely crowded or the Kanninabehlacannotevensqueezethru crowd which usually happens around Christmas and New Year (including the CNY one...)

What I'm going to do the moment I land in Changi's dearly missed terminals? I'm going to get myself a Burger King® meal and bite into some real beef patties. Abstain from pork I can live with but don't deprive me from good quality beef. If beef patties are sub-standard here, what do you think the steaks are like? Ok all this talk about food is getting me hungry... going to smoke...at least the cigarettes are cheap and imported from US.

找自己

2005-09-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

如果连唯一的在乎都不在了，
我还剩下些什么？
如果连唯一的资助都离开了，
我还能走到哪里？

失望，难过，空虚，寂寞，
陪伴着我走过许多路。
希望，快乐，目标，知己，
是否会永久陪着我走？

当在乎和资助都不在时，
我又得重新找自己...

Stuck in my head...

2005-09-25T17:23:00.000+08:00

I Want To Hold Your Hand

(Written by: Lennon/McCartney)

~~~Oh yeah,

I'll tell you something,

I think you'll understand.

When I'll say that something

I wanna hold your hand,

I wanna hold your hand.

Oh please, say to me

You'll let me be your man

And please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand.

You'll let me hold your hand,

I wanna hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.

It's such a feeling that my love

I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.

Yeh, you've got that something,

I think you'll understand.

When I'll say that something

I wanna hold your hand,

I wanna hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.

It's such a feeling that my love

I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.

Yeh, you've got that something,

I think you'll understand.

When I'll feel that something

I wanna hold your hand,

I wanna hold your hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The camp's 'DJ' keeps playing this song when we go for runs... Now I hear it in my mind whenever I let it go into idle mode... Would someone hold my hand?

Life in 'Hell'

2005-09-09T02:52:00.000+08:00

Ok ok...I'm not exactly in Hell. but the heat is a lot worse than Singapore though. And I though no other SEA country can be hotter than Singapura. To my friends who are worried about me. Sad to say, I've already had my first fever just 4 days back. Funny right? Not even a week and I fell sick. Considering all the unhealthy things I did before I flew off and plus I was caught in the rain... Its just a matter of time.... Anyway I'm a lot better now. Thanks for 'asking'.

Anyway, work has been a bitch (as always...) and I'm trying my best to conquer her. Only time will tell whether she'll eventually be my whore. Ok... don't sound like me right? Don't worry, Al's not with me. Instead, I just got an overdose of Lipton. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I won't have as much time to blog since I'm kinda buried 6 feet under work. Moreover, I don't have broadband on my location... Machiam very backward right? Well, the first thing on my agenda is to bring wireless broadband internet access to my peers. So in a couple of months (hopefully...) I should have broadband access and a laptop of my own. Let's pray for the best shall we?

Lastly, in Zhu's words, "My dears, I miss you all and love each and everyone of you."

I'll be back!

Sooner than you think. ;)

An appropriate song

2005-08-29T02:45:00.000+08:00

"Leaving On A Jet Plane"

Performed by: Chantal Kreviazuk

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', this early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say

...Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go
And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Can the day get worse?

2005-08-17T20:04:00.000+08:00

First thing in the morning, when my mom woke me up. She saw a bruise and proceeded to drill me about it. Its just a simple bruise, what's there to say? I get bruises all the time, from knocks, bumps, bites, scratches and yes pinchings....

Since I didn't sleep well the night before, I decided to go back to bed for 5 more mins and woke up 3 hours later. Not only am I late, I found to my dismay... that my phone died as well. A month old phone had to die on me. Like what the fuck?! So I had to look for my warranty card, which I found with ease. As I read the small prints, it required me to bring the stupid card along with my proof of purchase, aka receipt, when I bring it for repairs. WAH LAN EH!! Fucking warranty card not enough to prove I fucking bought the phone ah? SONINABEH ERICSSONOFABITCH....

So I went back to camp, found my receipt. As well as get some things I needed for interviews tomorrow. Then I realise... I got 2 interviews tomorrow and I have no idea what time one of them is to commence! So I got my clerk to help me check while I proceed to the bloody service points stated in the warranty card. Took a bus to Jurong Point and guess what? The KNN service point isn't there anymore!! CCB lah, you think play hide and seek ah? Pooh Bor! Never mind... sit down and eat lunch first before I die of hunger in Jurong Point. Go Macdonalds' and wait in queue. One more person before my turn.... This is the almost an exact replica of what I heard-

Lady : Hmm... I'm not sure what to have... can you recommend?

Counter staff: Huh?

Lady: What can you recommend I have? What's nice today? (WTF?! YOU THINK YOU AT SOME HIGH CLASS RESTORANT AH? ACT ATTAS IN MAC? I LECOMMEN MY ADDIDAS SHOE FOR YOU TO EAT LAH!)

Staff: Vould you like to try our nuggets? Its wery nice with the new dips... (obvious to readers the race of the staff serving her...)

Lady: Sounds nice but I don't think I want to have finger food today ( I don't think you would too, you fat ass bitch)

Staff: How bout our Extra Walue Meal? Add 40 cents more to change to twister fries.

Lady: Hmmm...I'm not sure. I don't think I can finish a whole meal by myself. ( You can finish the whole fucking restaurant by yourself if you wanted to...KNN la, hurry up can? There are famine struck kids like me standing behind you leh.)

Staff:.......(speechless at this point, obviously not well trained by Macdonalds' on the art of promoting products)

Lady: Ok, I'll take the MacChicken Value Meal then. (Yes!!! She ordered)

Staff: Upsize?

Lady: Yep... hmm hold on. I think I'll have the Big Mac Meal instead. Just give me the MacChicken Sandwich alone. (Nooooo.... She's ordering....)

Staff: Okay. I repeat your order..blah blah blah

Lady: Do I get to change to twister fries for free since I'm ordering something else? (JUST NOW ACT ATTAS, NOW BARGAINING LIKE AT PASAR MALAM!!! CCB! SI PUI EH! SIAM LAH! YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT I WANT TO EAT LEH!)

Staff: Sorli, I can't do that. (sweating profusely... maybe she's afraid the customer might get mad and roll over her)

Lady: OK then, I'll pay for the twister fries. (YES FINALLY)

So I ordered my Big Mac Meal...as my luck would have it. I have to wait for my Big Mac...stupid fat bitch took the last one. I took my fries and drink found a seat. Sat down, read book while eating... finish eating liao..eh? MY BIG MAC LEH?! I turned back and looked at the counter and didn't see any customers. SO BUSY CANNOT BRING MY FOOD TO ME AH?! I walked over to the counter, took my Big Mac then left the place...

Take bus to Toh Guan to find the blardi service centre. SIAN... my number was 1122... serving number was 1101.... agony agony. Wait and read book at the same time... Finished the book looked at time... wah biang eh... 1 hour plus liao still not my turn. At this point, my clerk sms me to tell me to call the chief clerk himself. How to call? The phone I'm holding now only left with sms capabilities! Then my own phone koyak liao... DING DONG!! 1122 flashes to proceed to counter 5. I took my little orange plastic bag and went over. Showed the guy what's the problem and lied to him that I'm flying overseas tomorrow and needed a phone urgently. Guy said the earliest is Saturday. I gave him the desperate look... Guy looks down back at phone and says he'll go check with the service crew ( I think I scared him with the look... So horrid meh? Ok no need to answer that...) At this point, second message comes in. " Call Chief Clerk now. He wants to tell you stuff about tomorrow. Urgent!) Siao liao... 祸不单行. The guy comes back with the phone in pieces. Tells me that its either software problems(minor) or hardware problems (major). DUH?! Then what? User problem ah? Then now he says the latest I can get the phone is on Monday. What? I thought you say Saturday? The 'experts' at the back obviously not sure what to do with it so wanted more time to deal with it.... No choice... I need to find a public phone quick. I took the service receipt from the guy and ran to IMM to make a call.

Appointment timing changed. Now both appointments clash... WAH BIANG!!!! Then need to get some stupid paper from boss in the morning and change appointment of the overseas briefing to Friday. SIAN SIAN SIAN SIAN. I wonder if things are going to be bad only for today or will last thru the week. Hope tonight nothing stupid happens...

Drug

2005-08-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

I recently got a taste of a forbidden fruit. I got on a kind of high that put past experiences to shame. I learning more with every bite and I'm yearning more with every taste. I feel like Claudia in "Interview with a Vampire", eager for more of her maker's blood. I want some more.

Underneath it all

2005-08-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

After some lengthy consideration, I've decided to upload a very very personal picture of me. It is extremely revealing and a few may find it revolting. Call me an exhibitionist or whatever. If there are people who can upload pictures of breasts to their blogs, I can upload this pic of mine.

Click only if you really want to see

Men in Blue

2005-08-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

I have to reveal this... I'm not really fond of the police force in Singapore. Several small brushes with them when I was growing up really put me off policemen... Now they have to do something weird like this.

There were only 4 protestors... its only illegal if you have 5 without a permit. The commander obviously never learnt to count past three... And how are the 4 protestors a nuisance to public? By standing in silence and holding up their billboards? If that's the case, those teenagers who gather in groups holding posters and albums screaming out their idols' names should be arrested and sent to jail without trial...

And they were 'overdressed' for the 'occasion'... Shields? Batons? Siao ah! You want to whacked some middle aged unarmed civilians if they refuse to leave? Must be the uniform..... Its suppose to make you look smart...

Shedding

2005-08-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

Later today, I shall be shedding away part of myself. The old must make way for the new. As with most changes, some form of pain will be involved. Whether the change will be for better or worse, I'm not exactly sure. Only time will tell of the consequences of such 'drastic and sudden' change on me. However good or bad, I hope in the end I can emerge in one piece. Then anyone who asks me about it, I'll just say," I survived it."

Diarrhoea

2005-08-11T01:02:00.000+08:00

Note: The following blog entry has NOT been approved for

ALL AUDIENCE
by the disgusting blogging association of Xed

For the past 3 days, my digestive systems have been giving me problems. Well, its actually just one problem. And his name is Diarrhoea a.k.a Don (He's a very distant cousin of gonorrhea...I'm kidding). Not a well-liked fella I tell you. He's been screwing around with the waste disposal guys' schedule. He's a sabotage expert I tell you. Not only has the waste disposal guys been working overtime for nothing, Don has even managed to convince Mr Duatng to cut back on the water absorption intake by telling him I'm retaining excessive water! The nerve of that fella... Rec and Ana are extremely unhappy right now and are spamming the email systems with complaints. This has affected the brain department's ability to manage daily affairs conherently. Everyone's confused right now. Take senario 1 for example; the waste disposal guys have dispatched a shipment of waterlogged waste to Rec and Ana for clearance. Moments after everything has been completed and cleaned up, Don hacks the sirens and alarms to go off signalling that there's more shipments to be cleared.

This is not my first encounter with Don....he has done much worse before. I'm going to have to find Charcoal, otherwise called Carbie, to settle this. Carbie hasn't been on good terms with Don and he is almost as adept as (some say better than) Don in hacking. I don't want to come in contact with another piece of toilet paper again for at least 24 hours...

Strong Support

2005-08-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

To those 'unsung' heroines who have helped in the recent disaster recovery, I'm glad to report that the 'rescue' mission went rather smoothly. Though the damage has already been done, it has been minimised with our efforts. I'd like to say a big Thank you to you all! It wouldn't be possible without you!

Superman...

2005-08-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

I'm writing this with a splitting headache and Al and Molly is with me. My whole body is shaking violently as if I'm going to split apart right from the centre. Even my intestines are cramping up to join in the fun. My body is in a wreck because my mind is too.

I need to realise I'm no superhero. I'm not Superman. I always try to do so many things at one time. My feet refuses to stay on the ground. I'm only Clark Kent or Peter Parker. No matter how I try, I cannot be at more than one place at one time. This fact just doesn't seem to sink into, that stubborn piece of biological grey mash I call, my brain. If I can't even do one simple thing right, who the fuck am I to even try and accomplish more. I wish I can be like Tyler Durden beating the crap out of Jack whateverhislastnamewas. "Kaninabeichaocheebye lah William. Fucking pay attention can or not? One fine day you'll end up putting your gongcheebye tao underneath a cheebye tank and get us both fucking killed."

So William, trying too hard to be Mr Nice guy and being the most blur motherfucker of all time, gets his wimpy butt kicked in so hard by Xed, his brain will have problems which end is the rear.... Xed steps on Will's chest and spits into his sorryass face.